Текст книги "Поворот винта. Уровень 1 / The Turn of the Screw"

IV

I started to wonder if there was a secret or a mystery at Bly. I walked around the place for a while, feeling curious and scared. When I went back inside, it was dark. I saw a surprised look on my friend’s face. She told me she had missed me. I quickly understood, she knew nothing that could explain the incident I had. I didn’t want to worry her, so I didn’t say it. I made an excuse for being late and went to my room.

The shock I had experienced must have made my senses sharper; I was certain, after three days and from paying closer attention, that the house staff had not deceived[20]20
  to deceive – обманывать


[Закрыть] me or played any tricks on me. Nobody around me knew anything about what I knew. There was only one logical thought: someone had allowed himself a rather rude trick. That was what I kept saying to myself as I went back into my room and locked the door. We had, all together, experienced an invasion[21]21
  invasion – вторжение


[Закрыть]; some rude traveler, interested in old houses, had entered, enjoyed the view from the best spot, and then left the same way he came. The good thing, after all, was that we wouldn’t see them again.

I know that it wasn’t so good, and I could have made a better judgment[22]22
  judgment – суждение


[Закрыть] on this, but the most important thing for me was just my lovely work. My work was my life with Miles and Flora, and nothing else mattered. Being with them made me happy. Working with them was like being in a beautiful story every day. I can’t say how interested and amazed I was by my companions. Instead of getting used to them, I kept discovering new things about them. There was one thing that stayed a mystery though—the boy’s behavior at school. But I didn’t worry about it because he was innocent and didn’t deserve any punishment. I knew that people might be jealous of him and try to hurt him, even the headmasters.

Both the children were like the cherubs[23]23
  cherub – херувим


[Закрыть]! It seemed like Miles had no history. He was sensitive and happy, as if every day was a fresh start. We don’t expect much from a small child, but there was something sensitive and at the same time happy about this beautiful little boy. He was never hurt, not for a second. I took this as a direct disproof[24]24
  disproof – опровержение


[Закрыть] of the fact that he was really punished. If he was bad, I would have noticed something. But I found nothing, so he must be an angel. He never talked about his school, friends, or teachers, and I didn’t want to ask about them. I was under their spell, even though I knew it. But being with them was a distraction from any pain, even though I had other problems. I got sad letters from home, but my children were the most important thing in the world. That’s what I thought during my alone time. I was amazed by their beauty.

There was a Sunday when it rained a lot, so we couldn’t go to church. If the weather got better in the evening, I planned to go with Mrs. Grose to the church later. Luckily, the rain stopped and I got ready for our walk. It would take about twenty minutes to get to the village through the park and the good road. Before meeting Mrs. Grose in the hall, I remembered that I had left a pair of gloves upstairs. They needed to be fixed with three stitches, which I had done. I went upstairs to get the gloves. As soon as I entered the room, I saw the gloves on a chair near the window. I also noticed a person on the other side of the window looking inside. It was the same person I had seen before. This time, I could see him better, and it felt like he was closer to me. Something, however, happened this time that had not happened before; he was looking at my face with the same deep and hard look as before, but this look left me for a second, and I could see him moving from one thing to another. It made me feel surprised and cold. I suddenly realized that he wasn’t there for me. He had come for someone else.

I ran along the terrace and turned a corner, but there was nothing to see. My visitor was gone. I looked around, but there was no one. The terrace, the lawn, the garden, and the park were empty. I felt sure that he wasn’t hiding in the bushes or trees. He was either there or not there. If I couldn’t see him, he wasn’t there. I realized this and instead of going back the way I came, I went to the window. I knew I should stand where he had stood. I did so and looked into the room. Just as I had done, Mrs. Grose came in from the hall. She saw me and stopped. I scared her just like he had scared me. She turned pale, and I wondered if I turned pale too. She looked and went back the way I had come. I knew I would see her soon. I stayed where I was and thought about many things. But there’s only one thing I have time to say. I wondered why she was scared.

V

Oh, she told me right away, when she came. “What’s wrong?” She was out of breath.

I didn’t say anything until she came closer. “With me? I must have made a strange face. Do I show it?”

“You’re as white as a sheet. You look terrible.”

I thought about it; I could tell her the truth. I held her hand tightly for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her being close to me. There was comfort in the surprise on her shy face. “You came to get me for church, of course, but I can’t go.”

“Did something happen?”

“Yes. You need to know now. Did I look very strange?”

“Through this window? Terrible!”

“Well,” I said, “I’ve been scared. What you saw from the dining room a minute ago was similar to what I saw. But what I saw was much worse.”

Her hand tightened. “What was it?”

“A strange man. Looking in.”

“What strange man?”

“I don’t know at all.”

Mrs. Grose looked around but couldn’t find him. “Then where did he go?”

“I have no idea.”

“Have you seen him before?”

“Yes, once. On the old tower.”

“Do you mean he’s a stranger?”

“Oh, very much!”

“Yet you didn’t tell me?”

“No, for reasons. But now that you’ve guessed—”

“Ah, I didn’t guess!” she said simply. “You’ve only seen him on the tower?”

“And on this spot just now.”

Mrs. Grose looked around again. “What was he doing on the tower?”

“Just standing there and looking down at me.”

She thought for a moment. “Was he a gentleman?”

I realized I didn’t need to think. “No.” She looked in deeper wonder.

“No.”

“Then nobody around? Nobody from the village?”

“Nobody—nobody. I didn’t tell you, but I was sure.”

“But if he’s not a gentleman—”

“What is he? He’s a horror.”

“A horror?”

“He’s—God help me, I have no idea!”

Mrs. Grose looked around again, then she turned to me and suddenly said, “It’s time for us to go to church.”

“Oh, I can’t go to church!”

“Won’t it be good for you?”

“It won’t be good for them!” I nodded[25]25
  to nod – кивать


[Закрыть] toward the house.

“The children?”

“I can’t leave them now.”

“You’re afraid—?”

“I’m afraid of him.”

“When was it—on the tower?”

“About in the middle of the month. Around this time.”

“Almost in the dark?” asked Mrs. Grose.

“Oh, no, not nearly. I saw him as clearly as I see you.”

“So how did he get in?”

“And how did he get out?” I laughed. “I didn’t have a chance to ask him! Tonight, you see,” I continued, “he hasn’t been able to get in.”

“He only peeps[26]26
  to peep – подглядывать


[Закрыть]?”

“I hope that’s all it will be!” She let go of my hand and turned away. I waited for a moment, then I said, “Go to church. Goodbye. I have to watch.”

Slowly, she turned to me again. “Are you worried about them?”

We looked at each other for a while. “Aren’t you?” Instead of answering, she moved closer to the window and pressed her face against the glass for a minute. “You see how he could see,” I continued talking.

She stayed still. “How long was he here?”

“Until I came out. I came to meet him.”

Finally, Mrs. Grose turned around, and said, “I couldn’t have come out.”

“Neither could I!” I laughed again. “But I did come. I have my duty.”

“I have mine too,” she replied. Then she asked, “What does he look like?”

“I’ve been dying to tell you. But he’s like nobody.”

“Nobody?” she echoed.

“He has no hat.” Then I noticed the look on her face and realized she had already begun to imagine a picture, which made her even more confused. So I quickly described him. “He has very red curly hair, and a long pale face. He has small, strange-looking eyes. His mouth is wide, with thin lips, and he only has little, strange red whiskers[27]27
  whiskers – бакенбарды


[Закрыть]. His eyebrows are darker and look like they might move a lot. He looks like an actor.”

“An actor!”

“I’ve never seen one, but that’s what I think they look like. He’s tall, active, and stands up straight, but he’s definitely not a gentleman.”

As I continued, my friend’s face became pale, “Not a gentleman? He?”

“So you know him then?”

“But is he handsome?”

“Very much so!”

“And how is he dressed?”

“He is wearing someone else’s clothes. They are stylish, but they don’t belong to him.”

She cried, “They belong to the master!”

“So you do know him?”

“Quint!” she cried.

“Quint?”

“Peter Quint—his valet[28]28
  valet – лакей, слуга


[Закрыть], when he was here!”

“When the master was here?”

“He never wore his hat. They were both here—last year. Then the master left, and Quint was alone.”

I followed, but stopped a bit. “Alone?”

“Alone with us,” she added, “In charge.”

“And what happened to him?”

She took so long to answer that I became even more confused. “He went, too,” she finally said.

“Went where?”

“God knows where! He died.”

“Died?” I almost shouted.

“Yes. Mr. Quint is dead.”

VI

That night, we agreed that we would face things together. I wasn’t even sure if she had a harder time than me. I knew, even at that moment, what I could do to protect my pupils.

“He was looking for someone else, you say– someone who was not you?”

“He was looking for little Miles.” I knew this very clearly. “That’s who he was looking for.”

“But how do you know?”

“I know, I know, I know!” After a moment, she continued: “What if he sees him?”

“Little Miles? That’s what he wants!”

She looked very scared again. “The child?”

“Heaven forbid[29]29
  Heaven forbid – боже, упаси


[Закрыть]! The man. He wants to appear to them.” The idea was awful, but somehow, I couldn’t keep it away. As we stayed there, I had a strong feeling that I would see what I had already seen. However, something in me told me that I could serve as a sacrifice[30]30
  sacrifice – жертва


[Закрыть] to protect the calmness of my companions. Especially the children, I would surround them and save them completely. I remember one of the last things I said to Mrs. Grose that night.

“It seems like my students have never told me—”

She looked at me as I paused in thought, “About his time here and the time they spent with him?”

“The time they spent with him, his name, his presence, his history, anything.”

“Oh, the little girl doesn’t remember. She never heard or knew.”

“About his death?” I thought deeply. “Maybe not. But Miles would remember—Miles would know.”

“Ah, don’t ask him!” Mrs. Grose cried.

I gave her the same look she had given me. “Don’t be afraid.” I continued to think. “It’s rather strange.”

“That he has never talked about him?”

“Never even asked about him. And you say they were ‘great friends’?”

“Oh, it wasn’t him! It was Quint’s own imagination. To play with him, I mean—to spoil him.” She paused for a moment, then added: “Quint was much too free.”

This made me feel a sudden disgust[31]31
  disgust – отвращение


[Закрыть]. “Too free with my boy?”

“Too free with everyone!”

Just to be sure, I asked her one last question. “So you’re saying that he was definitely and admittedly[32]32
  admittedly – общепризнанно


[Закрыть] bad?”

“Oh, not admittedly. I knew it—but the master didn’t.”

“And you never told him?”

“Well, he didn’t like people talking about others’ faults. He didn’t want to hear complaints. If people were fine with him…”

“He didn’t want to hear more?” This matched my impression of him. Still, I continued. “I promise you, I would have told him!”

She understood my point. “Maybe I was wrong. But, honestly, I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Of the things that man could do. Quint was so clever.”

I understood even more than I showed. “Weren’t you afraid of anything else? Not of his infulence[33]33
  influence – влияние


[Закрыть]—?”

“His influence?” She repeated with a painful look, waiting for me to continue.

“On innocent little lives. They were under your care.”

“No, they weren’t under mine!” She replied firmly. “The master trusted him and put him here because he was supposed to be unwell, and the country air would be good for him. So he had all the authority. Yes,”—she told me sternly[34]34
  sternly – строго, серьезно


[Закрыть]—”even over them.”

“Over those children?” I had to hold back a cry. “And you could stand it!”

“No, I couldn’t—and I can’t now!” And the poor woman started crying.

From the next day, there would be strict control over the children, as I said before. However, we couldn’t stop talking about the subject passionately for a whole week! We had discussed it on Sunday night, but I couldn’t help but feel that there was something she hadn’t told me. I had been completely open, but Mrs. Grose had kept a secret. I was sure that she didn’t do that because she wasn’t honest. She was afraid and that’s it. Looking back now, it seems that I had already interpreted[35]35
  to interpret – толковать, объяснять


[Закрыть] most of the meaning behind the situation, thanks to following more terrible events. What those events showed to me was the presence of a mysterious man who was still alive, while the dead one would stay a mystery for a while. This man had spent several months at Bly, which was quite a long time. The end of this terrible period only came when, on a winter morning, Peter Quint’s body was found on the road. The cause of his death was a head wound[36]36
  wound – рана


[Закрыть], which have been caused by a slip on an icy slope[37]37
  slope – склон


[Закрыть]. It was a wrong path to take, especially in the dark and after having drinks at the pub.

I don’t know how to explain my feelings in simple words, but during that time I found joy in being brave. We were all in danger together. They had no one but me, and I had them. It was a wonderful opportunity. This opportunity came to me like a clear picture. I was like a shield, standing in front of them. The more I watched them, the less they noticed me. I started watching them with nervousness[38]38
  nervousness – беспокойство


[Закрыть] and excitement. It could have turned to madness[39]39
  madness – безумие


[Закрыть] if it had lasted too long. But it turned into something else. It turned into horrible evidence. The evidence started when I took action.

The moment this happened was one afternoon when I was alone in the garden with the younger child. We had left Miles inside reading a book. His sister, on the other hand, had wanted to come outside. We walked together for about half an hour. I noticed how both children were able to be independent yet still be with me. They never asked for attention but also never seemed bored. I enjoyed watching them have fun without needing me. It was like being a special person or thing in their game, and I was happy to play that role. I can’t remember what role I played that day, but I know I felt important and Flora was playing happily. We were near the lake, which we called the Sea of Azov because we were learning about geography.

Suddenly, I realized that there was someone watching us from the other side of the Sea of Azov. I was sitting on an old stone bench near the lake when I felt, without actually seeing, the presence of another person in the distance. I was sure that if I looked across the lake, I would see that person. I was busy stitching and tried not to look. I thought that it could be one of the men from the area or even a messenger, a postman, or a tradesman’s boy, from the village. But my thoughts didn’t seem right to me.

I looked straight at little Flora, who was about ten yards away. I was worried if she would also see the strange visitor. I held my breath, hoping for a cry or some sign from her. But nothing happened. Two things shocked me even more. First, I felt that all sounds from her had stopped in a minute. Second, she turned her back to the water while playing. When I finally looked at her, I was sure that we were still being watched by someone. With my newfound bravery, I was ready to face whatever came next.

VII

I found Mrs. Grose as soon as I could. I remember crying out as I hugged her tightly, saying, “They know, it’s too scary. They know, they know!”

Mrs. Grose looked at me with disbelief[40]40
  disbelief – неверие, недоверие


[Закрыть] as she held me. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, everything we know, and who knows what else!” I tried to explain after she let go of me. “Two hours ago, in the garden… Flora saw!”

“She told you?”

“Not a word—that’s the horror. She kept it to herself! The child of eight, that child!” I was completely shocked by it.

Mrs. Grose, of course, was surprised too. “Then how did you find out?”

“I was there, I saw it with my own eyes. I saw that she knew.”

“Do you mean she sees him?”

“No—her.” I knew I must have looked really shocked because I could see it on Mrs. Grose’s face. “Another person, but just as terrifying and evil. A woman dressed in black, pale and scary, with a strange face. She was on the other side of the lake. I was there with the child—quiet for the hour; and then she came.”

“Came how—from where?”

“From where they come from! She just appeared and stood there—but not so near.”

“And without coming nearer?”

“Oh, for the effect and the feeling, she might have been as close as you!”

“Was she someone you’ve never seen?”

“Yes. But someone the child has. Someone you have.” Then, to show how I had thought it all out: “My predecessor[41]41
  predecessor – предшественник


[Закрыть]—the one who died.”

“Miss Jessel?”

“Miss Jessel. You don’t believe me?”

She turned right and left “How can you be sure?”

“Then ask Flora—she’s sure!” But before I could finish speaking, I stopped myself. “No, for God’s sake, don’t! She’ll say she isn’t—she’ll lie!”

“Oh, how could you?”

“Because I’m sure. Flora doesn’t want me to know.”

“Then, it’s only to protect you.”

“No, no, there’s more to it! The more I think about it, the more I understand, and the more I understand, the more I’m afraid. I don’t know what I don’t see, what I don’t fear!”

Mrs. Grose tried to keep up with me. “Do you mean you’re afraid of seeing her again?”

“Oh, no, that’s not the problem now!” Then I explained. “I’m afraid of not seeing her.”

But my companion just looked pale. “I don’t understand you.”

“Well, it’s that the child may continue to do it, and she will, without me knowing.”

“Oh dear, we must stay calm! And, you know, if she doesn’t mind it…!” She even said a dark joke. “Maybe she enjoys it!”

“Enjoys such things, a little child!”

“Isn’t it just a sign of her pure innocence?” my friend bravely asked.

“Oh, we must believe it! If it’s not proof of what you say, it’s proof of… who knows what! This woman is really horrifying.”

“Tell me how you know,” she said.

“Then you agree it’s what she was?” I cried.

“Tell me how you know,” my friend simply repeated.

“Know? By seeing her! By the way she looked.”

“At you, do you mean—?”

“Dear me, no– She never looked at me. She only looked at the child.”

Mrs. Grose tried to understand. “Looked at her?”

“Ah, with such awful eyes!”

“Do you mean with dislike?”

“God help us, no. With something much worse.”

“Worse than dislike?”

“With great determination[42]42
  determination – решимость


[Закрыть]. With a kind of evil intent[43]43
  intent – умысел, намерение


[Закрыть].”

Her face turned pale. “Intent?”

“To take possession of Flora.” Mrs. Grose walked towards the window. As she looked outside, I finished, “That’s what Flora knows.”

After a bit, she turned around. “The person was dressed in black, you say?”

“Yes, but with great beauty. She was wonderfully beautiful. But insidious[44]44
  insidious – коварный


[Закрыть].”

She came back to me slowly. “Miss Jessel was insidious.” She once again took my hand and said, “They were both insidious.”

“I appreciate[45]45
  to appreciate – ценить


[Закрыть],” I said, “that you haven’t spoken about it until now, but it’s time for you to tell me everything.” She seemed to agree with this, but still stayed silent. I continued: “I need to know. What did she die from? Come, there was something between them.”

“There was everything.”

“But what about their differences?”

“Oh, their social status, their situation,” she said sadly. “She was a lady.”

I thought about it; I understood again. “Yes, she was a lady.”

“And he was so far below,” said Mrs. Grose.

“He was a bad person.”

Mrs. Grose quietly said “I’ve never seen anyone like him. He did what he wished.”

“With her?”

“With them all.”

It was as if my friend saw Miss Jessel again with her own eyes. For a moment, I felt like I could see her too, just like I saw her at the lake. I said, “That must have been what she wanted too!”

Mrs. Grose’s expression showed that it was true, but she also said: “Poor woman—she paid for it!”

“Then you do know what she died of?” I asked.

“No—I know nothing. I didn’t want to know; I was glad enough I didn’t!”

“Yet you had, then, your idea—”

“About why she left? Oh yes, I had that. She couldn’t have stayed. Imagine being a governess here! And then I started imagining… and what I imagine is horrible.”

“It’s not as horrible as what I do,” I replied, and then I realized my defeat “I can’t do it!” I cried in despair. “I can’t save or protect them! It’s worse than I imagined—they’re lost!”