Текст книги "Infinity’s reveal / Откровение бесконечности. Thank you"

Unfortunately..

The Queen received the information how much money they earn.. And she announced to the whole planet:

«We have the people on our planet, who earn more than others.. I mean our new friends, our new doctors.. I give them one month to handle all that.. No one can earn more than 100 000!!!»

After some time Luke started a campaign against the Queen.

He was telling the people:

«Look what she is doing!!!!! She is suppressing our rights!!!!! Really!! We want to earn money, but she doesn’t give us such opportunity… Just look!!!! We can’t earn the money. And do you see how many ill people now we have? It’s all because of her… So we should do something!!!!! We should stand up against her!!!!! Let’s change our government!!»

People agreed.

And after some preparation all the people went to the streets and started shouting:

«No Queen! No Queen!»

They walked along the Main Street and started their way to the palace.. The Queen looked out of the window and scared a lot… She whispered to her husband:

«We need to hide.. I know where to go..» she was using their new language..

Inny and Salt took some food and went downstairs. There was a room in the basement. No one knew about that place.. They closed the door.

People were closer and closer…

The Queen was really scared… And she started to tell Salt everything… She told him everything she had ever done, hoping it would help… She was speaking the usual language, because for her it was not important at that moment.. She felt that her death is near. She thought she had nothing to lose. But no one wanted to kill her… People just wanted to change the ruling system… They didn’t want the Queen to rule the planet… They wanted the citizens to rule the planet… Luke helped them to get that idea..

Inny was continuing and continuing telling everything… And when she finished they came… They started to knock on the door…

«Open! Open, Queen!!» people were shouting…

The Queen was very scared!!! She jumped out of the body fast as a bullet…

Her husband Salt looked at her body and thought: «Dead..»

The Queen’s body was burnt as it was traditionally done on that planet…

***

The thing is that the Queen had a daughter at that moment… And she was old enough… She was twenty years old and she was pregnant…

People sued her as they wanted the full democracy on the planet… And according to the law she had to become the new Queen of the planet..

Well, to be honest, it was the first time when someone was suing someone.. There was no court before that moment.. They had to create it..

Before that moment people were solving all the problems themselves.. They were just communicating with each other and that’s all.. The problems were solved.. People were in good relations and if there was some argue they solved it just with the help of communication… And that’s all..

But not at that time.. Some things changed… And it was difficult for some people to watch other people’s eyes… And it was difficult for some people to communicate with each other… So they had to create a court which was between two people..

The Queen’s daughter’s name was Tina. She won the case, because of the laws.. And Tina became a new Queen of the planet Dzin.. That’s how she called it..

That word was taken from the language Inny created.. It meant «kindness». Tina also knew that language..

The word Dzin was the only word left from that language.. Tina decided not to use it anymore.. She thought that people should be open with each other, they shouldn’t hide anything from each other..

So the new motto of the planet Dzin was «Do good things, help each other..»

First of all, Tina closed «The Centre for healing mental disorders». She didn’t like it that «the doctors» in that centre lied to people and gave them the non-existent disagnoses.. And also they got money for all that.. It’s not fare..

After closing the centre the atmosphere on the planet was becoming better and better… It was more and more calm…

***

Inny was without the body at that moment..

She was really afraid to come back to the planet.. But she decided to try.. And she decided to get back her role of Queen.. So her idea was to continue ruling the planet, but with a new body..

So she had to take a body in the same family.. Happily her daughter Tina was pregnant, and Inny decided to use her chance..

So the new baby had to be born… Some time was left… Inny thought: «Now I will do that! I will!»

Inny wanted to take that body…

But…

She was late…

Someone else took it..

«No problem… I will not give up..»

Inny decided to take another body..

And she did it..

But it was not a small body.. At all..

When Inny was looking at the planet, she saw a body. It was laying in the forest… A man left it there as it was very difficult to continue living like that… That man was feeling himself very bad.. He had been receiving the «treatment» in «The Centre for healing mental disorders». Unfortunately..

He was asked to take the pills, because he couldn’t sleep at nights. He fell in love with one girl and he was thinking about her all the time.. That’s why he couldn’t sleep.. But he was asked to take the pills…

The only thing he had to do is just to go and to talk with that girl!!!! That’s all!!!!

But he was prescribed the pills which not only made him stop thinking about her at nights, but also made him stop thinking at all!!!!! Because he became a vegetable!!!!!

It was very difficult for him to continue living like that and he went to the forest and left that body there…

Inny didn’t know that story… She could feel it, but she was not so good in using her abilities at that time..

And she was really in a hurry.. She didn’t want to take a small body.. Because she would have to wait for a long time until it would become big.. So she took a body of a big man.. And made it alive..

It was not so easy to move in that body and Inny decided to eat something.. She found some money in the pocket and she went to a cafe.. She bought some food, but her condition didn’t change.. Then she bought some vitamins and took them.. The pills had killed all the vitamins in that body.

Inny’s condition became better a little bit.

She had enough strength to get to the palace..

So she was already there, near the palace..

And she waited until the night..

When she saw that the security guard fell asleep, she came to the palace. She still remembered the password which was needed to enter the palace… She went inside. She went to some room and then she found a room where a small girl was sleeping.. It was Tina’s daughter.. She should become the next Queen of the planet.. She was very small… Inny had a pistol, she took it in the room before..

She shot with the words:

«I am the Queen of this planet!»

She killed a baby..

But she forgot that she was not a Queen already, and if you are not a Queen, than you go to prison in such cases..

Everyone heard that sound in the palace…

Tina came… She started to cry..

«Who are you? What the hell are you doing?» she was crying..

She didn’t wait for the answer.. She said to the security guard:

«Put him into jail! Immediately!!»

Inny was arrested.

Tina added:

«You are crazy!!!!!!!» she was very unhappy..

***

Inny was imprisoned.. She looked like a man in a black leather jacket with a normal appearance, but with a very sleepy face.. She sat on a bench with the full misunderstanding what to do next..

***

What about Luke – he really liked all that activity.. With «healing» the people.. He liked to laugh at people.. He didn’t want to stop.. So he decided to continue.. He decided to create something new..

He met his best friend Sunders.

«Hey, I need your help.. You really helped me with creating all that pills. Now we need to make something new.. I’m so happy we finished medical university!! Now it’s time to apply the knowledge!!»

«What’s your idea?»

«We will not heal the people anymore… Enough with that.. We will make people happier!!!!!»

«What do you mean?»

«Well, you will help me to create such things that will change a person’s mood, make him laugh and smile… Okay? It will help people feel themselves better…»

«Can you imagine how bad it would be for the body?»

«No problem.. It’s okay.. Sometimes you should sacrifice something..»

***

One month passed…

And there were new advertisements on the planet Dzin:

«The new remedy for boredom!! «HAPPYLIFE»!

Now in all pharmacies of the planet.

If you have any questions call 555—666»

It was Luke’s phone number…

So the people started to take «happylife».. Luke was very good at marketing.. His advertisements always worked..

What about «happylife», it was a creation of Sunders, which made a person’s mood better for one hour and then it made it much worse, and a person really wanted to sleep and felt himself very bad..… It affected the body cells.. The more person took «happylife», the less he was able to feel the real happiness in life… He was really becoming an addict..

People who were taking «happylife» were trying to be as much productive as they could during that hour and then they felt themselves very bad…

Some people forgot where to take real energy for life… That’s why they believed «happylife» would help them… They were looking for answers..

It was written on the package of «happylife»: «If you feel bad in the end, it’s okay. Don’t worry. Just take one more..»

And there were people on the planet who were taking «happylife» every day all days long… Their condition was becoming worse and worse… After every package they felt themselves more and more unhappy… They couldn’t live without «happylife». They stopped working and their life was becoming worse and worse…

What is it life without work?!

When you work you help others… When you don’t work…

***

Inny was still in prison.. She felt herself a little bit better.. She knew that it was possible to get back her freedom by saying the truth.. She could prove that she is Tina’s mother, the previous Queen of the planet.. She could meet Tina and explain her everything… And she could tell her the moments in the past only they both knew… And of course she would ask Tina to forgive her for killing her baby..

Maybe Tina would believe her…

But Inny didn’t try..

What’s the sense?

What would she do in that weak man’s body?

So she started to think what to do next..

«Oh my God… Where am I? What am I doing here?… Oh my God… Life should be different… Oh my God… I need to change something… I just wanted to make a friend, but what’s happening… Oh no… I need to change something… I need to change something…» she thought. «I will become a God!!»

Inny had to get out of the body somehow… And she stopped eating.. At all… She didn’t eat breakfasts… She didn’t eat lunches… She didn’t eat dinners… She didn’t eat at all… She became very skinny… And finally she left the body…

And then she looked at the planet… She saw different things… There were good things, there were bad things..

«Of course I can leave everything as it is… I can go away… That’s what weak people do… But I will not give up… I will not give up…»

And Inny created a male body.. She thought that people will trust a man more than a woman.. Many people think that men are wiser than women… But is that true?

So Inny created a body.. But it was not just a body.. It was not material and it was transparent.. Anyone could go through it.. And also it could go through the buildings or anything else.. It was a little bit white, like a cloud in the sky.. That man had long white hair and long white beard..

So he appeared on the main square.. Very suddenly..

«Hello, my dear friends!! I am very happy to see you here!! I am God!! It means that I will help you.. Maybe you will not see me all the time, but I will always be near… I want to handle everything, to improve the situation on the planet… And I’m counting on your help.. See you.»

And he disappeared.

The God decided to know what Luke was doing at that moment.. And he saw that Luke was discussing a new substance with Sunders..

«So it will make people faster in everything,» Sunders said. «Everyone who will take it will act faster, think faster..»

«What are the consequences?» Luke asked.

«One day unconscious…»

«I see. Good. Let’s call it „Fastlife“.»

Inny thought: «Oh no… What’s happening to this world… Luke… What is he doing???? Why??? He was so nice in the beginning… I should do something about it!!!!!»

When Luke was alone Inny came to him.

«Hi Luke. It’s Inny..»

«Aah that’s you! Hello! I thought I have hallucinations..»

«Why are you doing all that?»

«And why did you become friends with that man, Inny? Why??? I wanted to handle everything..»

«Luke, I’m sorry.. Let’s get back everything..»

«It’s too late, Inny…»

And she disappeared..

«I hate her!»

***

Luke wrote a letter to Sunders..

«Dear Sunders,

Hi! Thank you very much for all your help.. Could you do me one more favor? I want you to distribute everything we have created… I want all the people to know about «happylife», «fastlife» and so on.. People should know about these things… They should use it… I will give you the information on how to distribute all this, how to make these things very popular… Okay?

Do it! And you will be happy!

See you.

Your friend, Luke..»

Luke sent this letter with all the information on how to distribute all the things..

And then he became a big red creature – a devil.. He decided to be God’s enemy..

Inny started to travel around the planet.. And if she saw something bad somewhere, she appeared there and when people saw her they stopped doing it, because of the fear..

Once she saw people who were drinking some beverages which should have made them funnier and more communicative.. Luke created that drinks with Sunders..

Inny appeared near that guys..

«Do you remember how happy you were when you were just meeting together without all these drinks..? Did you like that time?»

«Yes,» they answered..

«That’s what I’m telling you.. Life is better without these drinks.. Believe me..»

«He is right… Let’s throw them away..»

«Yeah!»

Inny was happy.. She disappeared..

The devil came after Inny.

«Stop! What are you doing, guys?? Do you want to be bored?? How do you want to spend time together without these drinks? You hate each other..»

They started to think.. And they changed their mind.. They continued drinking..

Then Inny saw somewhere a fight..

She appeared near that guys..

«Hey! What are you doing!?! You are people!! How can you fight with each other..? Stop doing that!!!!»

«Who are you?»

«I am God.. I help people..»

«Okay… You know, we are bored… That’s why we are fighting… That’s the reason..»

«Okay. Then let’s go with me.. Let’s have fun! We are going to save the world!!»

And they went..

But the devil also was very active.. He had ten people in his group.. And they were moving around the planet and making some bad things.. Inny was trying to go after them, but it was too difficult.. Her first purpose was to improve the situation on the planet, but now she also had to clean after Devil Luke..

Inny was upset…

«I’m losing… Nothing works…» she thought.. «I need to start from the beginning…»

And she destroyed all the planet… with the power of her thought… It was burnt in fire.. Everything died..

Except the spirits, of course.. They stayed alive… But they didn’t expect the fire…

 
***
«Luke»
«Inny»
Voices in the dark…
«See you, Luke..»
 

***

Inny saw some lights in the dark… She didn’t know what it was… It was very beautiful..

«I want to go there..»

And after this thought she went there and took the body there for herself..

It was a planet.

That planet was not round. It was flat (like a football field) … There were the edges… If you jump, you will lose the body.. So it was kinda like a football field with the edges…

There were no adults or kids.. Just the bodies of one age – about 25 years old (that’s how they looked like). But they were new..

The bodies were male and female.. But you don’t have to feed them and they can’t make kids..

So Inny took one of them – a female body.

The name of that planet was «Straightness». The ruler there was Beast. It was his name.

So Inny went out of the «Store of bodies» (it was the name of that place, the bodies were free of course) and first of all she saw the rules of that planet..

There was a nice music playing nearby – it was jazz. It was a late evening..

Very beautiful.. Jazz, lights… Inny was so happy to see all that..

«I will relax for some time..» Inny thought

And she started to read the rules..

«Welcome to the planet „Straightness“!!»

«Not bad,» Inny thought.

«We are very happy you are here!! Welcome!

You can use everything you see here!»

«I like it,» Inny thought. And continued reading.

«The only thing we expect from you is hard work!! You need to work a lot.. It doesn’t matter what exactly you will do.. Just work!! And you will have all that..»

The planet was very beautiful..

«If you work you get some tickets.. You can exchange them for the clothes, for the trips to different parts of this planet and for many other things.. If you don’t work you get nothing.. And also people who don’t work leave this planet.. And one more thing.. You can’t be different… You can’t do anything much better than others… You will be also kicked off…

Just be like everyone… And be happy..»

«I see..» Inny thought.. «This planet is absolutely not for me..»

And she tried to leave the body.. But she failed.. Then she went to the edge of the planet.. She wanted to jump, but she was afraid.. And she decided to stay for some time..

***

The sun on that planet was different. It was not standing still… It was turning around the planet..

So first of all Inny found a place to live.. It was free.. For people who work..

The more you work the better place for living you get. So when you see a person with a rich apartment you know – he works a lot..

Inny got one bed in the room in an apartment. In that room there were also other people.. It was a women’s room.

***

Inny went to the street.. She went to the cafe where she heard jazz music.. It was a recording as real musical instruments were forbidden on that planet.. It was the decision of Beast, the ruler of that planet..

Inny entered the cafe..

«Good evening..» she said.

«Good evening,» the waiter answered.

«Which food do you have here?»

«We have the impressions.. Where would you like to go?»

«I want to go home..»

«I understand you… But unfortunately it is impossible… So where would you like to go, miss?»

«I want to go home..»

«I really understand you… Can I help you somehow?»

«Which options do you have?»

«We have three options.. You can go to the beach, to the forest or to the highest point of this planet.. What would you like choose?»

«I would like to go to the highest point of this planet..»

«Okay. Just give me three tickets and with these super-glasses I’ll send you to the highest point of this planet.. Just wear them.. You’ll see.»

It was just an illusion.. Just a movie you could watch..

«I don’t have any tickets.. I just came..»

«I see… Would you like to work with us? We have a vacant place..»

«Why not..»

«Great! See you tomorrow at 9:30.»

Inny went to the street..

«Oh. My. God. Where am I? What am I doing here??? It’s the biggest trap in the world..» And she started to cry..

«Dear lady, you can’t cry here…» it was Beast..

«But what can I do here?? I can’t do this.. I can’t do that..»

«Sit down, please.. I will tell you something..»

They sat on a bench.

«My name is Beast.. I am the ruler of this planet..» he was very handsome.. He differed from other citizens of that planet.. His beauty pulled in the attention.. Also he was very polite, and it was also very nice.. Ladies liked it…

And by the way, it was possible to make families on that planet… Just without kids..

«Nice to meet you. I’m Inny.»

«Inny.. I heard about you a lot.. You are a very nice and very kind person.. And you are very capable! Let me propose you a job you will love a lot.. You’ve never dreamt of such things.. Can I tell you?»

«I have nothing to lose..»

«Great. Inny, people on this planet act almost the same. They go to work, they go to sleep.. And it is forbidden to show any emotions here.. You can’t show happiness, you can’t show sadness.. You will hear that on your first working day…»

«I see. But why is it forbidden?»

«Good question. Very good.. Because it can upset someone.. For example, you walk down the street, you smile… And, for example, another person has a bad mood. Do you understand that it would upset him? He has no reason to smile..»

«Or, for example,» he continued, «you go and cry.. And someone is very happy. And you will upset him… You understand? We found something between… You can’t show any emotions except little smile. Also you can’t play musical instruments on our planet.. Because when you play musical instruments, it can raise someone’s mood.. But it is forbidden to be in a very good mood here.. Now you understand?»

«Interesting.. So which job do you want to offer, Mister Beast?»

«I want you to work in our government. I have a special post for you,» he was smiling a little bit. «It’s not the only planet I have created so far.. I have one more.. But it’s a secret. And you mustn’t tell it to anyone.. My second planet is called „Home“. There is lots of nature, animals, seas, rivers, lakes… There are several oceans.. That planet has no end.. If you go forward sooner or later you will come to the same point.. It’s a sphere.. And you can’t leave that planet.. That’s how I made it.. There are people on that planet.. They can do anything.. They can laugh.. They can cry… But.. Unfortunately they will never leave that planet.. They are very small when they get born, then they become bigger.. Then they become old and then they think that they die.. They think that it is the end of their life.. But then they start from the beginning.. And all the same.. Of course, they are not dying in fact.. But they have no idea about that.. After their „death“ they forget everything… There were several times when people made the wars there.. Some of them were fatal.. No one stayed alive.. But they continue doing that.. And no one can stop that… It is impossible, Inny.. So I send there some types of people… I don’t like people who don’t work… I don’t like people who work too much… I don’t like people who live against my rules.. I don’t like too clever people… I send them all to planet Home.. And I offer you a post. You will be responsible for sending people to planet Home.. If you agree, of course.. You will be the ruler of all that activity… You will have lots of power.. If you agree.. Do you want me to show you the station? It’s the place, from which we send the people..»

«Thank you… Not today.. Too much information for today.. I will go to sleep.. I need to think..»

«Is the week enough for you?»

«Yes. See you..»

«And one more thing, Inny.. You will have the best apartment if you agree..»

«Okay. Good night.»

«You too, Inny.. Don’t tell anyone our secret..»

And she left…

One more time she came to the edge of the planet..

«If I jump now… If I jump now, I will never fix anything… And I’ll have ignore everything that happens in this universe.. I can’t do it it like this.. Everything that happens happens because of me… And I should fix it.. It’s all because of me.. I need to do something.. It’s my responsibility.. So let’s do it!!!!! I’ll do it!!»

And she went home..

She was passing the «Store of bodies». And she saw some man, who was leaving that place.. It looked like he just took the body. It looked like he liked the body and he was thinking: «Very nice.. I look very nice..» And he put the dust out of the jacket..

Inny continued her way.. But something pulled her attention back..

«Luke?» she thought.

She continued her way..

She came to her bed and went to sleep.. «I hope in the morning I’ll laugh at it as it was a very funny dream..» she thought before she fell asleep..

***

Inny woke up.. There was a very loud noise on the whole planet… It was an alarm that meant that you need to wake up and to go to your job. It was for everyone.. At 8 in the morning..

«Oh no… I’m still here..»

And she started her way to work.

There were about 50 people in the apartment: men and women.. Everyone was getting ready for work.. There were about 10 doors in the hall: each one led to the bathroom..

Before going to work everyone washed his body.. After the shower Inny went to the «cafe»..

There was a staff meeting at 9:30.

«Hello everyone! My name is Inny..»

«Hi, Inny,» three people said simultaneously. They were the boss, the cleaner and the man, whom Inny saw the day before.

The meeting started with the speech of the boss.. He was trying to say some inspiring words and then he gave Inny her list of rules..

«If you do something wrong one time, nothing happens,» the boss said. «If you do it for the second time, you should stand near the wall for one day.. And for the third time you go to Beast..»

«Okay. What if I decide to leave this job?»

«You can’t. Only I can fire people..»

«I see..»

«Good, Inny.. It’s very good that you see.. So now it’s time for breakfast! We have lots of work for today.. Now you go one by one to this room,» he showed on the door. «Inny, you are the first..»

Inny looked at her list of rules.

«The rules for workers and the instruction to the body».

Inny saw the first line of the «Instruction to the body».

It was written there:

«The body doesn’t need any food..»

When she entered the office of her boss first she said:

«It’s written here the body doesn’t need food.»

«Yes, but it needs energy.»

And that man made an injection in Inny’s neck..

«What’s that?»

«Your energy for this day.»

He was lying. The body didn’t need any additional energy.. All the bosses of that planet were governed by Beast.. And he told them to make that injections every day to all their staff members.. Then they were becoming more obedient and less emotional.. That thing had an addiction effect..

Inny went out of the office and understood that she is in an awful place…

She worked several days in that «cafe». Her job was to send people to different places.. The trips were not real.. They happened only in person’s imagination…

Once there was a man who was very inspired after one of the trips.. He was sent to the «highest place of the planet». He visited that place with the help of «super-glasses». He really liked it, it was very beautiful.. When he left that place, he decided to build a very high building on the planet.. He wanted everyone to have the opportunity to go up and see all that beauty in real life.. He sent a special form to the government to get the approval for that.

When Beast saw that letter, he shouted:

«He is mad! He wants to build the highest building in the world!!! Crazy!! Send him to planet „Home“! Now!»

And he was sent there..

***

Five days passed after Inny’s and Beast’s talk.. In the morning Inny got a letter from Beast.

«Dear Inny,

I hope you are doing well..

The week has almost passed. So what decision have you made?

I’m waiting for you answer.. Will you work with me?

By the way, if you work with me, no one will make you the injections..

With the best wishes, Beast..»

«Inny, we have a customer.. You should meet him,» the boss said and left Inny without her «breakfast»..»

Inny went to the hall.

She saw a back of the man.. He was looking at the sit, from which people were sent to their trips..

«So, what, guys, do you have here?» he asked.

Inny came to him.

«Hi. My name is Inny.»

He turned around..

«Luke.»

«Nice to meet you, Luke.»

«Nice to meet you, Inny.»

The teardrop started falling from Inny’s eye.. She knew that there is a camera in the hall and the boss could come at any moment, so she continued..

«Welcome to our cafe.. Pay three tickets and you can see the highest place of this planet.. It’s my favorite..»

«Okay. I’ll take. See you at ten on the Main Square..»

«Have a nice trip.»

***

It was evening..

Inny finished her work.. She immediately changed her clothes and ran to the Main Square.. She came to the statue. It was a statue of Beast.

At ten there was a loud voice, which was announcing to the whole planet:

«Go home! Go home!!!»

It happened every day..

Inny heard behind her back:

«Let’s go..»

And they went.

That planet was not very big.. There were no planes or cars, everyone walked by foot..

Building, 4th floor, apartment…

«Do you have your own apartment?» Inny asked

«Yes. Inny, we need to hurry up.. We don’t have much time.. I’m happy to see you..»

«Me too.»

«So, Inny, you have to be strong. Just wait several days.. This letter is for you,» he gave her a letter. «Go home. I don’t have time anymore.. If someone asks you something in the street, keep silence. At home you can say that you were working.. Go.»

«Okay, Luke. Thank you.»

She put the letter into her bag..

When she came home first of all she came to the bathroom, turned on the water and started to read the letter..

«Dear Inny,

I’m happy I met you in the cafe..

I am one of the bosses on this planet. I have a clothes store under my control..

I don’t get the injections, because I am the boss.. I’m in the normal condition..

I want to say sorry for everything I did before..

We need to save ourselves.. And I have a plan…

In two days everything will be ready. See you on Sunday at 9:30 in the evening on Don-Don street, 6.

I’ll be there.

Take some clothes with you.

Sincerely yours, Luke.»

The next day Inny came to work. She gave a letter to her boss on the meeting and asked him to give it to Beast.

«Dear Beast,

I decided to decline your offer. Thank you very much for your care..

I wish you all the best…

With kind regards, Inny.»

***

Inny got her injections every day for the last days.. She felt herself not very good… Her memory was becoming worse. She felt herself very weak.

On Sunday she went home after work. She sat on the bench near her home building. She wasn’t understanding what was happening.. Everything was going round. And she was very tired..

«Inny, what are you doing here?» Luke came there

«Who are you?»

He took her hand and led her to Don-Don street.. She was very tired.. Happily it was not far away.. When they came, Luke looked that no one was there, nearby.. And then he opened the door which was leading downstairs, under the earth.. It was very difficult to see the door from the street, because it looked like the grass.. So it was difficult to find it..