Текст книги "Akiva and Rachel. One of the greatest love stories of all time"

«Mr. Shimon, I am certain that there is something more between us than simple conversation. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I can’t forget about her, not for one moment. I look for her everywhere and in every sound I strain to hear her voice».

«The moment Kalba Savua learns of your affections, he will drive you off the estate and you will again wander round Judea in search of a wage» said Shimon, admonishing his ward.

«So be it. I am not afraid of anything any more. I want to be with her. Let him drive me away. I can’t live without her» said Akiva decisively.

«It’s useless trying to talk about it» thought Shimon giving a heavy sigh.

«Mr. Shimon, Do you think I don’t know that she is an impossible dream for someone like me and that we can never be together?» Akiva continued.

«So if you understand, why do you continue to spend time with her?»

«I tried to take your advice but I just can’t help it. It’s something more powerful than I am. I can’t begin to describe what she means to me. I have never experienced anything like it. Until I met Rachel, I hated this world and everything in it. Even if nothing can happen between us, I dream only of one thing; that it last as long as possible. I’d give my whole life just to spend one minute with her. I have lived a dull life but now at least I will have something good to remember when I die,» Akiva pronounced sadly.

Shimon felt sorry for Akiva. He could see the love and respect the shepherd felt for Rachel and having thought for a moment he said, «I can see you have made your mind up and there is nothing I can say to stop you. All I can do is ask you to think it through one more time.»

«Dear Mr. Shimon, I have already thought it all over and have made my decision. If fate has destined her to be mine, then we will be together.»

«Rachel is a fine young woman. Perhaps she will agree to be your wife and you will live a good life together. A lot in life depends on your wife. If you have a wise woman at your side who commands your respect, you will try to become a better man so as not to disappoint her.»

«Thank you Shimon for your kind words. I really need them at the moment.»

«Oh Akiva! Don’t forget» lamented Shimon suddenly, «you are almost twice her age and you are very different kinds of people, different in position and means. An affair like that can only end in tragedy.»

«So the reality is that a simple man like me, is not worthy of happiness and Rachel cannot be the wife of a poor shepherd?» Akiva’s eyes shone. «But I have to try. If she is my destiny, we will be together. And if she isn’t, then I shall spend the rest of my life alone,» said the shepherd despondently.

«Akiva, Akiva,» sighed Shimon heavily, «I can see there is nothing anyone can do. Since you mentioned her the first time, I have tried to dissuade you, to frighten you into giving up on the whole idea, but your intentions are obviously serious and I respect you for that.»

Mr. Shimon was silent for a moment and then he said confidently:

«If I was in your shoes and I liked a girl, do you know what I would do? I wouldn’t listen to an old man like me. I would go and talk to her father.»

«I agree but I am so afraid, afraid of losing Rachel. You don’t understand Mr.Shimon. If Kalba Savua refuses to allow it, Rachel and I won’t be able to see each other.»

«I am prepared to go and talk to Kalba Savua myself» the old man offered, «even if it does spoil our relationship.»

«No. This is the most important thing in my life. I have to do it myself,» said Akiva decisively, turning down Shimon’s offer of help.

* * *

Akiva returned to the Kalba Savua estate and set about his duties. Early in the morning, he drove the sheep to the river and waited for Rachel to appear. He turned round to look for her at every sound, but Rachel didn’t appear. It was getting dark. In the hope of seeing his beloved, Akiva decided to hang on by the river for longer than usual but eventually he left to go back for the night and drove the herd into the fold.

Back at the main house, the estate workers were having their supper in the dining room but Akiva didn’t join them making straight for his room. Once inside, he lit a candle and lay down to rest. All his thoughts were occupied with Rachel totally dulling out any thought of food. He didn’t feel the slightest pang of hunger despite not having eaten since morning. He could only think about one thing: Why had not Rachel come that day? However he looked at it, Akiva could not settle on a definitive answer.

Akiva worked hard to drive away his sad thoughts and dreamed only of seeing Rachel again. In his dreams, they walked hand in hand along the banks of the river discussing various topics of conversation. And when the sun began its journey home, they would sit on the tall rock watching a spectacular sunset. In his imagination they sat watching silently as the sun sank smoothly down into the river and the clouds drifted slowly into the distance. The silence was intoxicating broken only by the occasional sounds of leaves and birdsong.

A knock at the door interrupted Akiva’s flight of fantasy. He got up slowly and went to open the door. Ezra stood in the doorway.

«Peace to you, Akiva. Why did not you come for supper?» Asked the manager.

«I was just feeling a bit tired and decided to rest instead,» the shepherd answered, a little surprised by Ezra’s appearance.

«I was worried you might have been taken ill and have brought you some supper. Have something to eat.» Ezra held out the plate.

Akiva thanked him and put the plate of food on the table. Ezra left but Akiva didn’t touch his supper. He just lay down again thinking about Rachel and dreaming of another meeting with her. He wanted to fall asleep as soon as possible so that he would wake up to a new day which had to bring him the opportunity of seeing his beloved Rachel.

The next day however, did not fulfil Akiva’s hopes either and he returned to his room once again without seeing Rachel. He paced around the room unable to settle, going over different scenarios in his mind. The following morning, not having slept a wink all night, Akiva left his room and set off for the fold.

Thunder rolled and the sky was covered in thick, black cloud. It poured with heavy rain all day. Despite the weather, Akiva drove the herd to the river again impatient to see Rachel appear. He waited for several hours but the rain was only getting heavier and the herd threatened to scatter in all directions with every new clap of thunder. Akiva was forced to drive them back to the fold and return to his lodgings earlier than usual. He couldn’t be tempted by supper on this occasion either. One thought replaced another, making him ever gloomier. «Have I really lost her? Will she really belong to someone else?» Avaricious tears built up like shining dew on Akiva’s lashes. «If I don’t see her again I’ll die.»

Akiva tried to eradicate persistent thoughts of his separation with Rachel from his mind. «Perhaps the reason she didn’t come to the pasture like she used to, is because of the unrelenting rain.» Akiva comforted himself.

«Yes, that’s it!» Akiva felt calmer when he realised that it must have been due to the rain that he hadn’t seen Rachel, in addition to which, he had been forced to drive the sheep into the fold much earlier than he usually did. That would explain it.

Then a thought suddenly occurred to him. «What if Rachel decided to come out anyway, despite the terrible weather, and is waiting for me there, whilst I, fool, sit here in the warm. I’ll go now to the river. If Rachel is by the river, she will be cold and soaked to the skin by now.»

Without even stopping to put on his coat, Akiva hurriedly left his room dressed just in a thin shirt and linen trousers, and ran towards the river. It was dark outside and the heavy rain lashed across Akiva’s face. He ran along the wet, slippery road, fell and picked himself up again continuing towards the river. His clothes were soaked in mud but he didn’t mind and hurried onwards. He made for the summerhouse found it empty. The realisation that Rachel had not been there that day at all cut with bitter disappointment.

Akiva imagined the worst. Rachel had accepted the proposal of one of the yeshiva students and they were already celebrating the happy event. Morose thoughts took even greater hold on him driving him to the edge of despair. The thought that Rachel already belonged to another, that he would never see her again broke his heart.

He stood there getting drenched in the pouring rain and it was a long time before he could take his eyes off the empty summerhouse in the hope that Rachel would finally make a sudden appearance. He waited but eventually had to admit that Rachel wasn’t coming and he sank into the madness of despair. Salty tears streamed down his cheeks. The incessant rain washed away the tears from the face of the grown man but his tears came back with ever more force. Akiva hadn’t cried since childhood but now, he just could not help himself. The tears came stronger and stronger.

«What are you crying for?» said Akiva to the rain as he fell to his knees in the mud. He raised his hands to the sky, and said, «You’re not in love like I am. You can’t imagine how wonderful she is or what it is like to have to live another day without seeing her. My head is filled with stupid thoughts but there’s nothing I can do about it. Why, oh why couldn’t we see each other today? Is it because of you that she didn’t come today? Is it all your fault? Why do you pour and pour? Why do you want to separate us? Can’t you see I’m suffering? Can’t you understand that I’ll die without her? She is all that I have in life. She is my last hope of happiness.» Akiva took a few deep breaths before his words came spilling out again, «Rain, once you gave me the greatest gift of my life, you gave me the chance to see Rachel. On that unforgettable day, you rained incessantly, and Rachel and I met in the summerhouse that I’m looking at now. That was the happiest day of my life, and now you have torn us apart. Before I met Rachel, I was blind. I didn’t see anything, didn’t know the joys of this world. After meeting Rachel I grew up. I understood at last that life can be wonderful, that there is a person in this world for whom I would willingly give my life. And now you want to take from me my sight? Why did you show me the light only to blind me again? It would have been better if I had stayed blind and never met her at all. It is easier for a person who is blind from birth and has no idea of what the visual world is like, than for someone who has been able to see, has admired all the colours of the world and then lost their sight. The pain is unbearable.»

Akiva quietened down for a moment and remembering Rachel’s voice, he muttered, «She called my name and from her lips it was the sound of sweet music and now, because of you, I can’t hear or even see her.»

Drawing as much air as possible into his lungs, Akiva gazed up at the sky and ignoring the rain, he shouted with all his might «Rain! I hate you! I hate the whole world!» Akiva tore at his chest with a cry but the rain drowned out the sound of his words.

«Why should I be denied the right to be happy? Surely it’s not my fault that I am poor and have to earn my living doing physical work? I know you’re crying because we both used to be lonely and unhappy but now I have Rachel, my Rachel, and I am the happiest man in the world. You’re just jealous. No-one loves you. As soon as you show your face, people hide from you and return to their homes but I have finally fallen in love and you won’t spoil it! You think I’m just a simple shepherd who mistook her polite conversation for affection, who mistook compassion for love. Maybe that’s how it is. Maybe I did just make it all up.»

Akiva paused and the rain hammered down even harder. He was soaked to the skin but barely noticed it and had already decided on his next desperate step for the sake of his true love.

«I can’t endure this uncertainty any longer. I’ll go right now to Kalba Savua and talk to him. What will be will be. Maybe he’ll understand after all and agree to give me Rachel’s hand in marriage and if he doesn’t, I’ll give up my life. I don’t need this world without her.»

Akiva got up and in his muddy clothes, set off decisively in the direction of Kalba Savua’s house. He wiped his tears away with his hand and went over in his mind the words he would say to Rachel’s father. The tears carried on streaming down his cheeks and he brushed them away with his palm which was plastered in clay. «Where are all these tears coming from? I haven’t cried since I was a child,» thought Akiva. «My soul must have warmed and softened since I met Rachel and everything in me that was sleeping all these years has now been awakened.»

As he approached the house, the shepherd saw the old servant locking the front door for the night. Akiva spoke to him and asked him to let him in so he could meet with Kalba Savua. Seeing the shepherd’s tatty appearance, the servant tried to find out what was going on but Akiva insisted that the servant let him into the house. Rachel, whose windows looked out onto the yard heard the two men arguing and looked out of the window to see what was happening. Rachel recognised Akiva and seeing that the elderly servant was refusing to let Akiva into the house, she dressed swiftly and went downstairs.

«What’s going on?» Rachel asked the servant.

«The shepherd, Akiva, wants to talk to your father, lady. I’ve told him that it isn’t an appropriate time and that Kalba Savua has already retired for the evening,» the servant explained anxiously.

«Go inside. I shall talk to him myself,» Rachel instructed.

Rachel walked towards Akiva who was covered in mud and trembling with cold. Water was dripping from his clothing and his eyes still ran with tears, except that now they were tears of happiness.

«Akiva,» Rachel asked anxiously, looking at his face, «What’s happened? Why do you want to see my father? Has someone insulted you?»

«No,» said Akiva humbly, dropping his head fall so that Rachel would not see that he was weeping.

«You are soaked. You’ll catch your death of cold. Wait here and I’ll bring you some warm clothes,» said Rachel.

Ignoring what she had said, Akiva asked the question that had been tormenting him, «Rachel, we haven’t seen each other for three days now. I was worried about you and thought something had happened. Why didn’t you come to the river? Have I offended you?»

«Akiva, what are you saying! How could you possibly have offended me? I left Jerusalem with my father for a while.»

«Where did you go?»

Worried by Akiva’s appearance, Rachel did not answer his question but said, «Wait here. I’ll bring you some clothes and something to eat and drink.»

«I don’t need anything,» said Akiva strictly.

«Tell me where you went. Did your father take you to meet your future husband? Has he arranged your wedding?»

«Akiva, what wedding? At the invitation of Rabbi Johanan ben Zakai, my father and I traveled to the city of Yavne to take part in the celebrations of the circumcision2020
  * circumcision (in Hebrew -. Brit milah).


[Закрыть] a rite which, according to Jewish tradition symbolises the covenant between God and the people of Israel.) of the newborn son of one of the other rabbis. We only returned home this evening. I didn’t want to go to Yavne but my father insisted that I accompany him.»

«The circumcision was an excuse. I know that he took you there to arrange your marriage!» Akiva cried.

«Why are talking about my father in that manner?» Rachel recoiled from Akiva with a frightened look. «You don’t know him at all. If you talk about him in that tone we won’t see each other any more.»

Rachel turned to go.

«Forgive me Rachel. Don’t go.» Akiva said, realising that he had gone too far. «These past few days have been very difficult. I would never have come if I had known that you were all right. I couldn’t help thinking all the time that you might be sick and need help. It’s important to me to know that you are well and don’t need my help.»

«Akiva, if you don’t change your clothes right now, you will be the one needing help. And me too if my father finds out that I am not in my room at this late hour,» said Rachel smiling.

Akiva laughed happily.

«Now I know that you are ok, I’ll go straight back to my room.»

«Are you going to leave without saying goodbye?» said Rachel cheerily.

«I am so afraid that if I say goodbye to you, I shall never see you again,» said Akiva seriously.

«I don’t want to say goodbye either,» Rachel said to herself but having wished Akiva goodnight, she went back into the house.

«Tomorrow I shall be by the river all day. Come if you can,» Akiva called after her before set off in the direction of his lodgings.

* * *

«Peace to you, Akiva. I’ve got a lot to do today but I came to find out how you are feeling and to wish you a good day.»

«Thank you, Rachel! As you can see, I am fine. Tell me about your trip to Yavne.»

«Lots of people, respected people, came to the circumcision from all Judea and it was a very happy event. The rabbis told a lot of interesting stories from philosophy and life. Then the next day after the ritual, my father and I went to visit a yeshiva. I was surprised to see so many people studying in the yeshiva and of all ages too. They spend day after day in prayer and study ing the Torah.»

«I want to study the Torah too,» said Akiva interrupting Rachel. «I have thought a lot about what you say in defence of study and have come to the conclusion that you are right.»

«That’s wonderful! You must go and study.» Rachel was so pleased that she clapped her hands.

Akiva continued, «I used to think that for people of my age the best of life was already in the past and they just waited to live out their remaining years. But since I met you my life has totally changed. It is as if I’ve woken up after a long sleep and have started to see the world differently. There are things I understand now that I would never have noticed before. Now I see that there is so much we can learn from everything that surrounds us. Look at that huge rock in the river.»

Rachel glanced over at the pile of stones that stood in the shape of a pyramid.

«Which one?» Rachel asked.

«That one, with the hole right through it. Do you see it?» Akiva pointed out a huge rock with the knob of his rod.

Checking that Rachel was looking in the right direction, Akiva returned to what he was saying.

«You know Rachel, I could never understand where that huge hole in the stone could have come from. I started looking at the stone carefully and then I understood. It is caused by the splashing water. So what lesson do I draw from what I see?»

Rachel listened expectantly.

«Just as the drops of water,» said Akiva «splashing one after the other, day after day, can pierce a hole in that large rock, so the words of the Torah can pierce my heart.»

Akiva threw a glance at his conversant looking for her support.

«You’re right Akiva. You can do it. The important thing is to make a start» Rachel said enthusiastically.

«If I do learn anything in this life Rachel, then know, that it is thanks to you.» Akiva could feel tears of tenderness and joy springing up in his eyes.

«It’s a bit early for you to thank me,» beamed Rachel, looking at the sun bowing down to the horizon. «Then she added, «I’m sorry, I have to go back now.»

«Stay just a little longer,» Akiva beseeched her.

«No, AKiva, I have to go. My father will be worried. I only came for a moment to say hello.»

«Rachel, I am grateful to you for coming. My life is mundane. Every day I get up at the crack of dawn, eat a piece of bread, drive the sheep out to pasture and check they graze in a good spot and then drive them back in the evening before going to sleep. Only seeing you makes my life beautiful.»

Rachel listened to Akiva in silence. He spoke quickly, as if afraid that Rachel would leave before he had said the most important thing.

«On the days you didn’t come I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I thought I had lost you and the will to live.»

«I have my own responsibilities in the house and I can’t always get away» said Rachel making a soothing gesture toward Akiva. «On days when we have guests, I sit with them until late into the evening.»

«If only you could come every day, if only for a moment!» Akiva burst out. «Rachel, I don’t know what’s happening to me. I have never experienced anything like this before and have never spoken words like these to anyone else»

Akiva was quiet suddenly as if his strength had left him. It was hard for him to confess his own weakness but his soul longed to unburden itself through revelation and so he continued, «Rachel, I am a lonely man and before I met you, I hated my life. I don’t need a lot, and it would be ridiculous for me to hope for anything in my position, but if only I can see you, hear you, or simply quietly look at you, then none in the world would be happier or richer than I. I would give all the wealth in the world for just one meeting with you. Rachel, when you are here with me, I forget about everything else completely».

Rachel thought about what Akiva had said for a long time before finally drifting off to sleep that night and even more intensely, she thought about his desire to go and learn to read and write and to study the Torah. Every time Rachel saw Akiva, she was increasingly convinced that she had never met such an unusual person, who despite being illiterate, was unlike anyone else she had ever met. In the eyes of the young, unworldly young woman, he was brave, kind and wise.

Akiva also thought about his conversation with Rachel before drifting off to sleep.

The next day at dawn he hastened to drive the cattle to the river and eagerly awaited a meeting with his beloved.

* * *

Rachel hurried towards the river.

«Peace to you, Akiva.» I came as quickly as I could and thought I would not catch you. We had lots of guests today but I came away as quickly as I could.»

«Peace to you, Rachel!» Akiva’s heart beat happily, «I wanted to go but decided to wait a little longer in the hope that you would come. I knew you would come. It took me ages to fall asleep last night because I was thinking about our conversation.»

«I thought about what you said for a long time too. Could you tell me again?» Rachel was a little embarrassed but waited expectantly for his response.

«Yes, Rachel. I have never met anyone like you.» There wasn’t the slightest trace of doubt in Akiva’s words. «I would give anything just to be able to see you from time to time.»

«Could you spend your entire life with a girl like me?» asked Rachel decisively.

Akiva dropped his head.

«Tell me. Could you?» Rachel demanded to know.

Rachel waited for Akiva to say something but he was silent, too confused by her words to speak himself. When he thought about the hopeless prospect of Kalba Savua giving his approval to their marriage, the shepherd was saddened.

«The idea that I am a simple shepherd and you the daughter of a wealthy, important man always troubles me,» Akiva finally confessed.

«Money isn’t the most important thing. Tell me, would you want to be my husband and spend the rest of your life with me?», Rachel asked again.

Akiva lowered his head again in sadness looking at the ground. Then sighing heavily he said, «Rachel, I hardly dare think of it. To see you, to hear your voice is already beyond my wildest dreams. If only you knew what you mean to me. When I am with you, I forget that I am a poor shepherd who can’t read or write. I feel like I am the wealthiest man in the world. When you are with me, I grow wings and soar above the Earth like an eagle.»

Rachel listened without interrupting him.

«I have started to thank the Creator before going to sleep as you taught me and I ask that He give you health.» Akiva stood with his head hung low. This conversation was hard for Akiva.

«I wake in the morning and thank the Almighty again that I have woken to a new day and ask only for one thing – that I might see you again. Thanks to you, I am changing, becoming a better man. I love you deeply, but I can never forget that I am a simple shepherd and you are the daughter of a wealthy prominent man.»

«Akiva, I will marry you, but only on one condition,» Rachel said suddenly.

Akiva was stunned. He couldn’t believe his ears.

«Rachel, if you agree to become my wife, I will buy you the most expensive ring!» Akiva wanted to do something amazing for Rachel. «I’ll take a loan from a moneylender and pay it back over the years, just to give you the best jewellery money can buy. I’ll do anything. You will be the most beautiful bride ever.»

Rachel suddenly burst out laughing.

«You will take a loan from a moneylender to buy me jewellery? I don’t need jewellery. I have plenty of jewellery already.»

«Of course! Why didn’t I think!» Akiva said slapping his palm to his forehead. «We don’t have a home. We need somewhere to live for ourselves and our children. I will borrow money and build us a good home where we can live and bring up our children. I’ll work day and night to return the loan. And if you tell me to, I will work for your father for seven years without a single coin like Jacob once did for his Rachel. Anything as long as we can be together.»

«Akiva listen to me. I don’t need anything.» Rachel spoke more seriously now. «I will be your wife if you want me to on one condition. After we are married you must go and study the Torah.»

«Study the Torah? Rachel, that is the simplest thing you could have asked me. That is your condition?» Akiva asked joyfully.

«Yes, but you must fulfil it completely. You will leave the herd, stop chopping wood and collecting firewood and will devote yourself to study,» Rachel insisted. «I am certain that you will make a good Rabbi. If only I could send you away to study!» Akiva’s beloved shook her head with regret. «You are so attentive to your herd! I think you could be a worthy community leader and then all the people of Judea would come to you to study. I will support you in everything.»

«Believe me, I really do want to study» said Akiva, «but can anything really come of our dreams? Your father will never allow you to marry a simple shepherd. All the most eligible bachelors in Jerusalem want to have you as their wife.»

«I know it won’t be easy to make our plan happen but I will think of a way,» Rachel promised confidently.

«Mr. Shimon could talk to your father on our behalf,» Akiva suggested.

«No. That’s not a good idea. I will talk to my father myself but if I take this step I need to be sure that you will change your life.»

«But what if he won’t allow it?» said Akiva anxiously.

«He will accept it. I am his only daughter. He won’t want to lose me.» said Rachel, calming her beloved with her words.

«Rachel, please, talk to him soon. I won’t be able to eat or sleep with worry. You have no idea what you mean to me.»

«There is no point in rushing. Today we have guests staying. They’ll leave tomorrow morning. As soon as there is a convenient moment, I will talk to him. I am not afraid of anything, hardships or obstacles because I am confident that this is the right decision. I would be the happiest woman alive if I knew that my husband was a respected rabbi.»

* * *

Akiva didn’t get a wink of sleep all night. He understood that this was the biggest battle of his life and that the following morning his fate would be decided. He was sure that Rachel lay awake too in anticipation of the conversation she must have with her father. Rachel was indeed unable to sleep and thought only of the difficult conversation that awaited her the following morning. How should she start? How should she present the unexpected news so that her father would understand and not be disappointed in her? It was important to her to maintain the warm relationship she had with her father, who had taken care of her since childhood. Rachel had to inform her parent that she had chosen her suitor herself and that she had not chosen any of the many respectable men of society who desired to woo her. She tried to drive away the idea, that her father would deny her desire to marry Akiva and help him become learned.

«I’m not doing anything wrong,» Rachel said to herself. «I want to do a good deed, to help someone, whom no-one has ever helped before, find his way in the world and become someone. Akiva must go and study the Torah and become a rabbi as soon as possible. My father won’t judge me. He’ll understand and support us. He is my father after all and he loves me, so he’ll accept Akiva as a son,» Rachel whispered to herself with hope.

«What if he doesn’t agree and is afraid that Akiva will take me away?» Rachel thought suddenly. «He can be certain that he won’t be losing his daughter forever by letting me marry Akiva. Father knows how much I love him and that I would never leave him. He has brought me up single handedly and I will look after him in his old age. It’s my duty as a daughter. The estate is large enough for us all to live here together.»

That night Akiva felt the need for the support of a close friend more than ever. He couldn’t sleep, restlessly turning from side to side and imagining Rachel’s forthcoming conversation with her father. He considered it for a long while. He rose from his bed, paced about the room for a while, then sat at the wooden table.

«In the morning, Rachel will look out of the bedroom window, waiting for the carriage to depart with their guests. As soon as the guests have left the estate and Kalba Savua has reentered the house, Rachel will quickly go downstairs, run to him and having embraced him, she will announce cheerfully:

«Father, you have waited so long for the day that I shall marry and now that day has come. Very soon, just as you have always dreamed, you will have a helper and son in my future husband.»

«What will she say next?» Akiva wondered. Not giving her father time to utter a word, she will continue, «Father, dear! I know you have long awaited the day when I would become the wife of a wise man and the house would be filled with the laughter and cries of your own grandchildren. Is that not right, father?»