Текст книги "Plays for 1, 2 people. Collection №3"

The play «Suicides or a day for marriage»

Comedy for two actors. Duration 50 minutes.

One-act play.

ACTOR

LIDA – a girl, 35 years old in the story;

GRISHA is a man about 40 years old.

Scenography:

A tree with a stronger and higher branch. Bushes, and all that is necessary for the wilderness.

Wind noise is heard. Twilight.

A drunken Lida enters the stage. He staggers a little, but stands on his feet. She has a beatific smile on her face.

My clothes are dirty and wet. In one hand, she barely holds a bottle of vodka, with some pathetic remnants at the bottom, in the other hand, a rope that drags her across the floor across the stage from behind the scenes.

The noise of the wind subsides, the focus of the light falls on Lida.

Lida turns to face the viewer, and the second half of her face, which has never been seen before, has a huge black eye.

LIDA (to the audience, familiarly): Hi… (winks, smiles, waves her hand, which barely holds the bottle) Well? How's life? Okay? (nod) But I'm not very good at it. It's probably not hard to tell by the look of me, is it?

Lida walks a few steps, takes a SIP from her throat, and throws the bottle somewhere in the bushes.

LIDA (to the audience, familiarly, intricately): And I have a birthday today!

(Here you can answer someone "thank you", if in the first rows there is a lively spectator (OR A decoy), who went into a rage and congratulated the heroine quietly)

LIDA (to the audience, familiarly, intricately, slurring her tongue): yeah. Cassette word. (Looks at his watch) No, it's not fair. Now it turns out that my birthday was yesterday. Thirty-five slashed. (If the actress can, then it would be nice to screw a delicate burp) Yes,Yes… Thirty-five! How much did you think? Twenty-nine? (smiles, looks to the other side of the room) Twenty-six? (looks to the third part of the room) Forty? (unpleasant frowns in the face). I'm thirty-five. I don't have a baby or a kitten… My family doesn't understand me, I have friends… Not anymore. (Sits down on the floor, or rather plops) Were, but… everyone jumped up… bitches. In General, they are all not up to me right now. And here I am alone… All alone… Remember how it is… who's there? I do not remember… (quotes) "Good girl Lida! In desperation, he wrote." In despair… All right. All about me. By the way, let's get acquainted – Lida! (he puts out his hand to greet the audience.)

He rises, trying to keep his balance.

LIDA (to the viewer): Okay… We met… and talked… It's time and honor to know.

He pulls up the rope, looks around, finds a tree, chooses a stronger branch. Aims, tries to throw a rope on a branch so that it is tied or caught. But she can't do anything. However, the girl is persistent in her attempts. After catching her breath and swearing exclusively with facial expressions, she continues her work again.

Grisha enters the stage. He's wearing a tuxedo. Very well dressed, expensive. Clean, shaven, but drooping. In one hand he has a "half Cup" of lemonade, in the other a rope that drags along the stage behind him. Lida doesn't see him. He, in turn, does not see Lida.

The focus of the light shifts to Grisha. He carefully unscrews the lid, takes a single Cup from his pocket, pours a drink into it, drinks, puts the Cup in his pocket, twists the lid, puts the bottle on the floor.

GRISHA (to himself): that's it, Grisha's gone… Remember your name.

He pulls the rope to him in a doomed manner, immediately throws it around his arm in rings and purposefully turns to the tree, taking a few steps, where Lida is still trying to do something.

Gregory dies in a frenzy, the sight of this picture. He is outraged.

GRISHA (loudly, indignantly): Hey, citizen?

Lida turns around in a waddle in a certain inadequacy.

LIDA: aw, snap… Healthy! Look what a handsome man he is in this thicket. Listen, buddy, aren't you a rapist?

GRISHA (indignantly): What? Me? Are you out of your mind? No, of course not!

LIDA (upset): Damn it! And then it broke.

Lida turns back to the tree and continues trying to put the rope on the branch.

Grisha: Citizen, I'm sorry…

LIDA (without turning around, upset, interrupts): Yes, go, I've Already forgiven. You're not the first person to fail me.

GRISHA: Yes, I'm not about that! I… You… This is my tree! I took it forward!

Lida turns to the man with interest.

LIDA: AND? GRISHA

: I see you have an event planned here. Could you spend it somewhere else? I looked at this tree yesterday!

LIDA:

GRISHA: Well, I also have an event planned. I have approached this issue in detail. I chose a place away from people, a taller tree, a stronger branch. In General, I decided on this tree yesterday. This is my tree. Find another one, please, and let me hang on to this one!

LIDA: Why is this happening? Right now! (he sways on his feet) I'm going to look for something somewhere. You can't see it, I'm already falling off my feet. What kind of guy went there? No respect for a woman. To the girl, rather.

GRISHA: Girl, you'll excuse me, but any twig will hold you here, and I will have more weight. There are so offhandedly-that is impossible! The second time already you understand – already quite not the mood, if that…

LIDA: Listen, thorough you my. Go ahead… somewhere. I came first, and I'm here to hang out. Everything! This conversation is over!

Lida continues her attempts to throw the rope on the branch.

Grisha looks at it skeptically, then stands aside and watches.

Lida keeps trying, but nothing comes out.

GRISHA: Well, how long will I be here to watch this horror?

Lida turns wearily.

LIDA: what else is there? What are you waiting for?

GRISHA: No, I just thought that since we can't agree on the choice of location, then let everyone stay with their own opinion, that's all.

Lida looks at the man as "a RAM on the new gate".

LIDA: Don't you understand?

GRISHA: if you're going to hang yourself, hang yourself, I'll wait. And then I'm right there. The branch is strong enough to hold both of us.

LIDA: what? Look what you want! I don't want to hang around you. Come on, get out of here. Business what was found.

GRISHA: well… you never Know what you want… Here you want – you don't want, but you have to!

LIDA (indignantly): Hear what? I don't want you and me swaying around like two assholes… You never know what people will think.

GREGORY: BUT you don't care who is there that will think?

LIDA (indignantly): No! I just don't care! I must hang alone, pathetic, misunderstood, and unheard… but not really as someone might think – wicked!

GREGORY: it is interesting… Why are you so unheard and misunderstood? Tell me while there are still a few minutes, maybe I'll understand and hear? So you look, and the reason for the event will not be…

Lida thinks. Glancing furtively at the door.

LIDA (slyly): I Decided skillfully to eliminate a competitor?

GRISHA: This might be a nice side effect, but I didn't think about it at all. Whether you hang out in that tree or not, it doesn't matter to me. I've decided to put my plan into action and nothing will stop it.

Lida puts the rope aside and sits down on the floor.

LIDA (with interest): Oh, Well, then you go first.

GRISHA: what am I?

LIDA: Well,what? First you tell me what drives men in suits like this to commit suicide, and then I'll tell you. I'm the first… (timidly) shy.

Grisha looks up at the Lido with out a doubt.

GRISHA: Listen, can I help you better? Give me a string here, I'll quickly bait it…

Grisha approaches Lida busily. But she removes the rope, it turns out a kind of cat-and-mouse game. Grisha never manages to pick up the "tool of labor".

: I don't understand? Are you going or not going? Let's somehow decide already, there is a queue in General…

LIDA (with a twinkle): And I'm not going to report my actions or omissions to anyone I don't know. Let's get acquainted first, and then I'll think about whether to talk to you or not!

GRISHA (surprised): The business is! That's a woman's logic… Why would I want to meet you? Do you have a black eye over there?

Grisha points at the black eye.

Lida takes out a mirror, looks at it, then takes out a cosmetic bag with powder, or Foundation covers up a bruise. In the process of putting on make-up mimics, not looking at Grisha.

LIDA (mimics): You have a black eye over there…

She finishes her powder, looks in the mirror, and looks happy.

LIDA: That's it, no black eye, meet me!

Grisha thinks about it.

GREGORY (thinking out loud): Well… in principle… I'm in no particular hurry. Okay… An hour earlier – an hour later…

Grisha approaches Lida and extends her hand in greeting.

GRISHA (with a nod): Grisha!

Lida curtsies and returns the bow of greeting.

LIDA: Lida.

Grisha is standing in a stupid position with his hand outstretched. He puts his hand behind his back.

GRISHA (through her teeth): Let's get acquainted.

Lida approaches Grisha like a boy and pushes him on the shoulder.

LIDA: Why are you so uncooperative, grin?

Grisha looks at what is happening in confusion. He wasn't used to such familiarity.

GRISHA: no… it's not that… it's just that I don't really Like it when something or someone interferes with my plans.

LIDA: Oh, come on. Your plans aren't going anywhere. Well, if you want, I'll give it to you. And then I'll think about it, maybe I'll look at another branch, or maybe…

Lida smiles shyly, doesn't say anything, she clearly feels sympathy for Grisha.

GRISHA: what and....? What does it mean?

LIDA (after a pause): It doesn't mean anything. We have women in General, anything can mean one meaning and diametrically opposite at the same time!

GRISHA: It's true. I've lived for almost forty years and still haven't learned to understand women. What about women? People! I observe this situation from time to time. You do a man good, and he hates you. And someone commits meanness after meanness, so they run to him in droves with open arms. Yes, not others are running, but the same ones! Those who were betrayed, who were framed, who… (he waves his hand without saying anything). But… What is happening in this world, how to understand it? How can a person with a pure heart even exist here? Hard, Lida… It is very hard…

LIDA (soulful): Is that why you're here?

Grisha looks at Lida, looks away, thinks for a while, nods his head in response.

Lida looks down.

LIDA: I was brought here also not happy news. But… unlike you…, there is still a tragedy not of a General nature, but still personal.

Grisha looks with interest at the Lido.

LIDA: I don't get married.

Grisha narrows his eyes in surprise.

LIDA: You're LAUGHING at me, aren

't you? I just suddenly thought about how many people in my life, maybe a careless gesture of refusal, managed to send to the other world in a similar way that in a moment from you… Well,well?

LIDA: well,well? This is actually the whole reason.

Grisha stands a small pause of incomprehension. He tries to show support with his facial expressions, but it comes out rather clumsily.

LIDA: AND that…, you in his life refused many girls?

GRISHA: Yes not that directly many, but… maybe three…, four…, ten…

LIDA: Wow… One of the most popular, among our brother, if not a secret?

GRISHA: You see… I can't explain it even to myself, let alone to you. It somehow went off on its own from childhood. Girls have been chasing me for as long as I can remember. This sometimes caused aggression in the guys. Hence squabbles, slander on the basis of start. And these "pleasures" still accompany me through life. Constantly vilified, constantly under attack, constantly under the gun of the disliked and unheard. .. There are more good people, I understand that, but … psychologically, it was too hard for me. It became impossible for one to cope with this oppression.

LIDA: But I take it you have a lot of admirers, don't you? Didn't you pick up any of them for yourself?

GRISHA: Somehow it didn't happen. I've met a lot of people, tried something, but… it doesn't work. Everything is empty, and I can't do that.

GRISHA: but what you said is strange. I find you quite an attractive girl. Interesting, with charm and inner light. These girls are usually snapped up first.

LIDA: well… but I wasn't snapped up.

GRISHA: So maybe the time just didn't come? You don't need a lot of intelligence to pick up just anyone, but so that life really lets down a decent person… for that, I think it's worth waiting.

Grisha pauses for a moment.

GRISHA: Am I wrong?

Lida shrugs.

LIDA: all right. Frankness for frankness.

The girl pauses and sits back.

LIDA: I was born into a fairly well – off family. I've never been denied anything. I am an only daughter and of course I was pampered. I didn't have many friends, because my parents protected me from the so-called lower classes of society. And with those who were on the same level as me – it was not always interesting. Although the classmates were developed, they were engaged in them from childhood, invested a lot of money in education, but… All those friends of mine – it was my parents ' choice, not my choice. I lived like a bird in a Golden cage. I had enough patience until I was thirty. So I was introduced to my fiance – that was the last straw. I suddenly realized that I was not living my own life, but my parents ' life. I live a certain model that was not planned by me. And it made me so sick… I ran away. I had enough money to get away from the family estate, and I even made a new passport, changing all the details so that no one would find it. Tripled on a simple job and experienced life as most people know it. To put it mildly, I wasn't thrilled. I realized then how my parents had crippled me. They didn't prepare me at all for the realities of life, and everything happens! If my colleagues had been in my position, they wouldn't have lasted a week. But my inner core has often come to the rescue in times of despair.

GRISHA: but… it seems that he also gave up the slack, since I met you here…

LIDA: Dal, Grisha. But not immediately.

Lida sighs heavily and looks away.

LIDA: I managed to get settled in life by the time the funds I had saved ran out. Rented apartment, more or less stable and not the lowest paid job. Some relationships, as if even friends, though… girlfriends… is there a female friendship?.. However, there is. Up to a certain point.

GRISHA: it seems that at this particular moment in your life there was an interesting man.

LIDA: Yes, you're right. Appeared. But, alas, not for long. Imagine, these friends of mine, they are almost all married, and before the man who began to show me signs of attention, they began to "twist their tail". Well, what about the man?.. a weak creature. Always chooses accessibility in favor of worthy qualities.

GRISHA: almost always.

LIDA: Really? GRISHA

: I know it's hard to believe, but for a hundred men, there are about three or four men.

LIDA: Men? Among men? GRISHA

: I didn't miss the point. There is a huge difference between the two terms.

LIDA (with a pleasant, engaging interest): I know this, but I have never met anyone who has raised this issue before.

GRISHA: just against the background of the vast majority, men are in the shadows. And they usually do not seek to show themselves. They live and live for themselves. They have different moral values, they are different people. Quite different. But they don't need to show themselves. They are already found by those who should find them.

LIDA (after listening): How interesting your reasoning is. I listen and read like a smart book.

GRISHA: Are you kidding me?

LIDA: Oh, no, that's not sarcasm. I just suddenly realized that… That it was the first time I'd met a man, the one who was one of those three or four percent. And it's really quite different from the males I've met so far. You're right, Grisha… It seems you are very right…

Grisha and Lida look at each other with a cautious look, perfectly aware of what is happening between them now.

GREGORY (hesitantly): I… killed, I'm sorry. You settled on that man.

LIDA: Yes, you got it right, that's how my friendship with my "earth" friends ended. But I'll tell you what… A woman is treacherous by nature. It doesn't matter if she's from a rich class or a poor one. She, in one way or another, seeks to get what attracted her attention. The scale is different, but the essence and methods are about the same. I became disillusioned with women, disillusioned with men. And, nevertheless, I found the strength and changed my environment again. New job, new friends, new life. I even changed my apartment, my style of clothing, and of course my haircut.

GRISHA: Well… that's the first thing.

LIDA: this, by the way, is a very important moment, and not only for women.

GRISHA: I know. I've been both long-haired and bald myself… now here, too, in an unusual style and form…

LIDA: and…, there'S not much to go on. History repeated itself again.

Grisha looks down sympathetically.

Soft, sad music plays.

LIDA (heartfelt): It was so depressing. So everything faded in an already not too colorful world. For whom to live, for what to endure all this? No husband, no child… My family… it's still out there somewhere… in the past. And my family, my own, which I dreamed of, which I aspired to…, I could not create. Tried… True, I tried, but… unable. I sat down in the kitchen in the evening and lit a candle. I congratulated myself through tears on my thirty – fifth birthday and, making an ultimatum wish, blew out the candle!

The music stops.

Gregory in bewilderment.

GRISHA: Desire – an ultimatum? I've never heard of it…

LIDA: do You want to know what I made a wish for?

GRISHA: I'm interested, but … this is probably very personal…

LIDA: I'll say. I made a condition for myself. If I don't get married in twenty – four hours, then I don't have any more sense to live in the world! An empty life is what hell is. And I'm pretty sick of him.

Grisha does not immediately, carefully, after considering his actions and words, approaches Lida and sits down next to her.

GRISHA: and… is there still time? The day hasn't ended since you blew out the candle?

Lida looks at Grisha with interest. Grisha looks with interest and responsibility at Lida.

Lida takes out her mobile phone and watches the time.

LIDA: less than an hour left. But what does that solve…

Puts the phone away. Cautiously snatches glances at Grisha.

Grisha thoroughly thinks about something, gets up, moves away from Lida, goes to the Bush, pulls out a blade of grass, weaves a ring out of it. Cautiously glances at Lida in snatches, Lida turns abruptly, as if she didn't even look at what Grisha is doing there.

Grisha is coming to the Lido on the back.

GRISHA: In the end, we will always have time to get a divorce.

He sits down on one knee, and Lida turns at his words. Grisha holds out a ring made of grass.

GRISHA (in all seriousness): Marry me!

moment "X". A quivering moment, a look of anticipation from Lida.

LIDA: What else!

GRISHA (indignantly):

Lida: who do you think I am? To marry the first person you meet is the height of imprudence! I'm not like that.

Grisha gets up from his knee, indignantly squeezes his homemade ring and throws it away.

GRISHA (indignantly): So! Citizen! Will you eventually hang yourself, or do you need help? The queue is already raging! Detain how much for nothing!

LIDA: I have, if anything, almost an hour left. So that… if there are people in the queue who are very suffering, then I am ready to let myself go ahead. Please, you're welcome. At the same time, I'll look at how it all happens. The nuances are there, fluttering… what else is there. That I, however, have no training, no experience… The first pancake is always lumpy, so please…

Lida makes a compliant gesture to Grisha, letting him go ahead.

GRISHA (relieved): Well, finally.

Gregory takes his rope and was busily coming to the branch. Quickly throws a rope, the case remains small. Lida watches all this with a strange expression on her face.

LIDA: Aah… I got it! You did all this on purpose to beat me to the finish line!

Lida takes off and runs to kick the door.

Music!

There should be a small skirmish, jostling, gesticulation, struggle.

As a result, both characters fall next to each other, exhausted, panting, looking at each other with a share of resentment.

The music stops.

GRISHA: Taak…, well. So neither yourself nor people? Well, well… That's what you are. (Viewer) I was going to marry her. Thank God, life took away. But something would…

LIDA (interrupting, furious): What that would be? What that would be? As if you were seriously prepared to marry me! Yes, I immediately realized that you are just out of pity, to distract attention. I would have agreed, I would have run home happy, and you would have taken a place on a branch! Oh, these men. Nothing sacred is shunned, just to get their way. And here, by the way, feelings! And you can't play with it! Got it?

GREGORY (shouting): And you don't take me "on understood", Understand?

LIDA (enraged): I don't understand! GRISHA

(shouts): WHAT don't you understand?

Lida (furiously): I understand everything!

GRISHA (shouts): If you understood, you'd be married by now, you fool!

LIDA (furiously): For whom, idiot?

GRISHA (shouts): For me, idiot!

LIDA (furiously): It wasn't serious! You cheated!

GREGORY (shouting): It was serious! I liked you, and I made a decision! And you vyezhivatsya start! And I sit here unmarried, or rather just stay single!

Lida thinks about it.

Pause in the exchange.

LIDA (measured): well… married or unmarried, and we still hang side by side, so… I can say I didn't lose anything. He's so impulsive, you can't say a word.

GRISHA (measured): And you have to think about what word to say!

LIDA (measured): It is necessary, I do not argue, but how to think here…

GRISHA (understandingly): Well, Yes…

Pause. Glance.

LIDA (with interest): So that… are you serious?

GRISHA: what?

LIDA (with interest): Well… what about me?

Grisha sighs languidly…

GRISHA: Of course, seriously. Is this a joke?

Lida smiles shyly.

LIDA (with interest): So I… really liked you?

GRISHA (to himself): uh-huh.

LIDA (with interest): And you are ready to marry me not out of pity, but at the call of your heart?

Lida looks at his face insinuating.

GRISHA (to herself): yeah.

LIDA (with interest): Ah that you all uh-huh Yes uh-huh. It's like I'm forcing you to.

GRISHA: So in a different way I have already declared my feelings, you have dismissed them!

LIDA (excitedly): Yes, I didn't dismiss my feelings, I thought that…

Lida abruptly stops, takes a deep breath in her chest, and smiles affectionately at Grisha.

LIDA (softly): I really liked you, too. Very, very. Truth.

Grisha moves away from resentment. She smiles modestly.

Grisha: Go on…

LIDA (excitedly): Well… I don't know what to say in such cases. Can you imagine? This is the first time I've said that in thirty-five years. Tell me… and they didn't say that, but I did… This is my first time.

GRISHA: Well, how does it feel?

LIDA: Yes, As if scalded with boiling water. But not now, but literally that's it. And… I don't feel pain, but I feel like it becomes dramatically easier… Right othodnyak be blessed…

Grisha smiles, he understands Lida.

GRISHA: I confessed my feelings for the first time in high school. She was the best student in the class and knew her worth. Well, I didn't really Shine with knowledge, but I wasn't a bad student either…

LIDA (interrupts): Grisha, Grisha! Wait, wait! I understand everything, let's make sure you tell us about it, but maybe later. And that time is mercilessly running out. The hour is inexorably running out. And this may not be the case later. I may be a girl, but I've always kept my word. Let's spend the rest of our time on… You and me. I'm sorry, I may have sounded rude, but understand me…

GRISHA: Yes, you're right. How much time do we have there?

Lida watches the time on her phone.

LIDA (excitingly): Twenty minutes.

GRISHA (to himself): yeah.

Lida looks hopefully at Grisha, but he is silent.

Soft, sad music plays.

Lida looks down, walks away, and sits down with her back to Grisha.

Grisha thinks. She puts her hands together, twining her fingers, and touches her lips. Lida puts her hand on her arm, like a schoolgirl at a Desk, her hands on her knees. He puts his head in his hands. He doesn't know what's going on behind his back.

Grisha looks at Lida. His eyes are serious, determined.

The music stops.

LIDA (gravely, quietly, without turning around): Well, what's that girl for?

Grisha does not answer immediately, gradually moving away from his thoughts.

GRISHA: She laughed at me. And in public. She made a fool of me in front of the whole class.

Lida turns around and looks at Grisha with sympathy.

LIDA (trembling): I'm sorry…, I… I wasn't too different from that schoolgirl in my actions, was I? I'm Sorry, Gregory. You bared your soul to me, and I…

Grisha sighs.

LIDA (trembling): Understand… I've been through a lot. well… not more than anyone else in the world, that's for sure, but I've seen life on the side of wealth and on the side of poverty. Of course, people live very differently. Of course, the thinking of both is very different, And how many different third parties… but… But there is something that unites them all. And I'm no exception.

Lida looks at Grisha in awe.

GREGORY: go Ahead…

LIDA (trembling): One day I was coming back from work by the back streets. No one was waiting for me at home, so I took my time. I wanted to delay my return to the empty house as long as possible. And I went along an unfamiliar path, by alleys, somehow bypassing, somehow aside.

Grisha listens attentively, very sensitive and very serious about this speech.

LIDA (trembling): She went down to the log, crossed the rickety bridge, and looked back.

A small pause, Lida remembers, selects the right words.

LIDA (trembling): There was no free space on the slopes along the small river. Everything was littered with dilapidated houses. Some sheds, buildings. How do people live on these slopes? How do they bridge there? As they do, eventually, make their way there at all? After all, neither the ambulance nor the fire Department will be able to approach these barracks in case of anything. And they are somehow built there, somehow settle, somehow live… After the usual ideas about villas and estates, I was shocked by what I saw. My new life took place exclusively in apartments and houses in the private sectors of this type on eyes did not come across. And so, one house caught my eye. More precisely, not even a house, it, in fact, did not differ in anything from the rest in this area. A small fence caught my eye. Quite small. Literally one and a half meters wide and two and a half meters long from the gate to the porch. But on this small piece of freedom, a brand-new basketball Hoop was installed. Bench, kennel for the dog. I suddenly realized that Yes… this family lives very poorly, does not have any communications and amenities, which, without thinking that it is somehow different, are used by residents of large cities. But with all this, the father in this family comes home from work and plays basketball with his son. They just throw a ball together in one ring, tease a smiling dog and turn around at the call of their wife and mother, who invites their favorite people to dinner.