Текст книги "Cказки Призраков. Tales of Ghosts. Премия им. Эдгара По / Edgar Poe Award (Билингва: Rus/Eng)"

8. Kailash

We took a taxi to Sheremetyevo airport. The driver turned out to be a cheerful and talkative… tour guide. He knew several foreign languages, worked with tourist groups in Moscow and dreamed of starting his own business.

«I will definitely open a tour agency! I am an Aries, and all Aries always achieve their goals!» the driver exclaimed optimistically, saying goodbye to us at the airport.

Katya was an Aries, too.

As we entered the airport building, we came upon a bookstore. Instantly scanning the contents of the shelves, Katya fixed her eyes on some books and pulled my sleeve.

«Look, here it is, Kailash!!! Let’s buy them all!»

I saw a multi-volume book about the Tibetan city of Gods. Everything related to philosophy, Tibet and the Unknown mattered much for Katya. Haunted by unusual dreams, mysterious voices and ghostly visions since childhood, she was in the search of the keys to the great mysteries of the Universe. Of course, one can laugh at the otherworldly things, but Katya’s dreams came true. And even I, a notorious skeptic, began to believe in signs.

«To carry these volumes? What’s the point?» I objected. «Let’s buy them on return.»

I planned for our vacation to read e-book of Katya, her thesis on philosophy «The Sense of Life and Death», thus, an extra kilo of printed books in my backpack caused me nothing but rejection.

On the plane, Katya periodically recalled and excitedly shared with me some interesting facts about the mysterious Mount Kailash, located in the distant Himalayas, about which I really knew nothing at that time.

«I would give a lot to get to this Mountain! Perhaps even my lifetime! They say there is a point of confluence of parallel worlds there, a portal, do you know? If you’re ready, you’ll be let in! Many people went to Kailash, but not all came back! And some of those who returned grew old instantly! I’m sure, Time flows differently there! Mr. Roerich painted both Kailash and the mountains nearby. He was allowed into the caves where the bodies of giants, people of the previous race, are still kept! Can you imagine?!»

I didn’t understand much of the meanings she put into her words, but the girls’ enthusiastic tirades require encouragement.

«You’re Aries, so you will definitely get to Kailash! But why should you give your lifetime to see it?»

***

We stayed in a very beautiful hotel, built in the style of a medieval castle, in a place surrounded by mountains, which were growing even out of the sea.

That day we had lunch at a restaurant on the beach, and Katya remembered me again about her «beloved».

«I dreamed about Kailash a long time ago, in childhood, and more than once. I was standing at the entrance to a cave and looking into a large stone mirror, as if someone had polished a piece of the mountain very smoothly. My mother was reflected in the mirror behind me. I turned around, but there was no mum there. I turned back to the mirror, and she was still smiling in the mirror…»

I was about to object to her about the stone mirrors, but at that moment an elderly lady, walking nearby with a bowl of soup, stopped in front of us and passed her hand over Katya’s head.

«The channel is open!» she said in a loud voice. «And the pillar is up to the sky! Your soul is so old! Is this the last time you live here?»

Katya and I looked at each other, and the woman had already gone her own way, obviously not eager to enter into discussions.

***

I booked a lot of different excursions. That day we went rafting on the river of the 4^th level of difficulty. Neither me nor Katya had rafted before, and we were promised an unforgettable experience. We had a long drive through the mountains in an old minibus, listening to beautiful but sad songs.

«If I die, will you be sad?» Katya asked suddenly and clung to my shoulder.

«What the hell are you talking about!» I muttered.

Now, recalling these episodes, I wonder why we don’t say kind words to our beloved ones, don’t support them in their moments of sadness. Was it hard for me to answer something like, «Honey, of course, I’m going to be not simply sad, damn sad! Please, don’t die!» No, on the contrary, I grumbled!

When Katya put on a helmet and a vest before rafting, she looked like a twelve-year-old girl, although she always looked younger than her years. I would like Katya to give birth to my daughter, but all the time – how many years? – I put off the important decision «for a while».

I took a picture of Katya against the backdrop of a stormy river and a boat. We signed an agreement that the organizers didn’t bear any responsibility for our lives and the like. After the briefing, we bravely rushed into the battle, not yet knowing that in one of the rapids, we were going to face, a tourist like us had recently died.

The instructor’s name was Sam. Originally from Nepal, he spoke English and knew a few words in Russian. I saw Katya’s eyes light up.

«Sam,» she exclaimed, «have you seen Kailash?!»

«Oh, Kailash! This is a great mountain near my country!» Sam said proudly and looked up at the sky.

At that moment we were surrounded by delightful landscapes of towering mountains. And, to be honest, I didn’t understand, what could be so extraordinary in some Kailash! There were a lot of mountains on Earth! I seemed to be the only one who hadn’t sung praises to Kailash yet.

Our boat didn’t capsize in the end, although two men did fall out of it.

***

We spent the next two days among the ruins of ancient towns.

«I seem to be able to fly over to that column!» confessed Katya, standing on top of a nameless hill with the remains of a temple.

«No, no, don’t try!» I stopped her.

«And people of previous civilizations could fly! Just imagine, with the power of their own thoughts, they moved heavy stones and even mountains!»

«Are you talking about Kailash again?! Change mountain! There are a lot of them in the world!»

Katya pursed her lips in resentment and fell silent, but soon a local resident approached us, offering a parasailing, and I sent her to fly first over the sea, and then over the mountains.

Katya was an outgoing girl. Yes, a girl…

It would seem that her tragic life experience, many times greater than my own, should instantly turn any creature into an old one, however, Katya looked young and remained a child in her soul.

She managed to combine the incongruous, was drawn to everything out of standard, loved extreme sports and sometimes, as it seemed to me, flirted with death. Katya was not afraid of it, she was afraid of… spiders! Can you imagine? Afraid of insects, but not of dying! Strong-willed and kind, smart and beautiful, that was already a rarity, and at the same time completely defenseless, she clearly needed a strong male shoulder nearby.

Probably, I loved her, but I was afraid to admit it to myself… I was afraid of responsibility and of losing my own independence… I neither expressed my love openly nor pampered Katya.

For example, when we went for a walk in the local evening bazaar, she saw a tiny multi-colored onyx pyramid.

«Look, how beautiful it is!» Katya exclaimed. «Pyramids normalize, strengthen and focus energy, turning it in the right direction! They also translate the earthly into the heavenly! Every pyramid is real magic! They say the whole complex of mountains around Kailash is a city of various pyramids!»

That pyramid cost a penny, but I defiantly ignored such a transparent hint. Why didn’t I buy Katya a piece of her coveted magic? I was already jealous of Katya to Kailash with all the fibers of my soul and absolutely indifferent to the pyramids, since I understood nothing in them. Highly likely, that not bought pyramid, as I think now, was my subconscious protest as a refusal to admit that Katya knew something I didn’t, that during our shared life she had become more well-read and advanced in the Otherworld, she had grown a lot, overtaken me in many ways…

***

Returning to the hotel after a walk along the sea, we heard a sudden shout behind us and looked back. A man in a white T-shirt with the logo of a large travel company for some reason desperately waved his hands, looking at us point-blank. We froze, and the man ran up to us.

«Have you forgotten about our night excursion?» he asked Katya.

«What do you mean?» she wondered.

«You bought it from me half an hour ago at the Sun Hotel!» the travel agent exclaimed and took out his notebook. «Here you are… Svetlana!»

«No, you are confusing something. I’m not Svetlana, I’m Katya!»

«Besides, my friend,» I felt like showing my importance, «we are from another hotel, and we are leaving tomorrow morning. So, we have no time for night excursions!»

«Blimey! Sorry! It means the girl, settled in the Sun Hotel, is your exact copy!»

The man apologized again and left.

«A bad sign,» Katya said and became gloomy. «Copies are met shortly before the death of their original. Or beloved ones see the look-alikes of those who are about to die.»

«Come on! You haven’t seen Svetlana!»

However, it’s no use arguing with women. So, I decided…

…yes, it was my decision! – that’s the trouble! – that’s why I’m still replaying our trip in my head day by day… I decided to cheer her up! Instead of proceeding to the room to get our luggage ready for the trip, I suggested extending the last night of our vacation by attending an outdoor entertainment show.

That night, local dance groups made some performance on the territory of the hotel. Between dances, fakirs and other magicians demonstrated tricks, involving the tourists. Katya was clearly bored.

«Are you dreaming of Kailash?» I asked, barely restraining myself so as not to be sarcastic.

«Anyway, I need to get to it. They say whoever walks Kailash around 108 times will never come back on Earth! And I don’t want to incarnate anymore!»

I got angry… and… – yes, it was me again! – when the fakir started inviting those who wanted to get a portion of adrenaline before going to bed, I pushed Katya to the stage.

«Kailash will wait!» I said.

Two guys in national costumes put Katya on the floor and covered her belly with a wooden board, and the third one, blindfolded, standing with his back to her, began to throw knives at Katya, over his shoulder, one by one, without a break. And they hit the board until another knife, flying by, crashed into the floor, and the one thrown next…

Periodically replaying on my internal screen, like a video, both that evening and our years together, I blame myself more and more… Not for having sent Katya to the stage, because I didn’t wish her death at all! However, I got used so much to the constant presence of Katya somewhere nearby, that I stopped appreciating such a miracle in my life, so they took her away from me…

Perhaps it was Kailash itself…

September 2003

9. Канарейка

Светлана уже лет десять не появлялась здесь, но ехала на вечеринку к старой знакомой с лёгким сердцем и абсолютным спокойствием в душе. Лишь из простого женского любопытства ей хотелось взглянуть на Артёма, вдруг он живёт там же и окажется дома?

Тогда он работал в какой-то коммерческой фирме. Сначала всё было замечательно: одежда и еда – исключительно из дорогих супермаркетов, машина – самая-самая престижная, и не дача, а дворец. Но вскоре в душе Светланы образовалась бездонная пустота, и она почувствовала себя одинокой. Нет, она любила мужа, только он уходил из дома рано утром и возвращался по ночам – постоянные встречи, переговоры, друзья, партнёры, клиенты и командировки. Ей не хватало его внимания, заботы и, наверное, любви. Светлана не раз просила уделять ей больше времени – тщетно. «Ты ничего не понимаешь, в этом мире всё решают деньги!» – говорил Артём, и ничего не менялось.

И однажды Светлана от него ушла… в никуда, но достаточно быстро устроилась на неплохую работу, стала получать приличные деньги и жить не хуже прежнего. Она перестала грустить, вскоре снова вышла замуж и родила очаровательных близняшек, но в какой-то момент поймала себя на мысли, что ей уже всё равно, во сколько её второй муж возвращается домой, уделяет ли он ей время или нет. Переговоры – так переговоры. Командировки – значит, командировки.

У них были деньги, которые действительно решали всё.

«Подумать только! Я стала идеальной женщиной для Артёма», – констатировала Светлана, проходя мимо его подъезда, и заметила свет в знакомом окне…

Артём открыл ей дверь и удивлённо произнёс:

– Какими судьбами?! А я в последнее время часто о тебе думаю. Заходи!

Светлана прошла в комнату и оценивающе огляделась по сторонам, но всё – на том же уровне: дорогущая брендовая мебель, картины крутых художников… Лишь в клетке на столе у окна она заметила маленькую птицу.

– Я купил канарейку, чтобы мне не было одиноко, – признался Артём.

– Разве ты не женат?!

– Разве женатые не бывают одинокими? Жена с детьми летом наслаждается Канарскими Островами. А ты… как? Надеюсь, твой новый муж уделяет тебе больше времени, чем я?

– Нет, представь себе. Но мне этого уже и не надо. Я не требую, чтобы он приходил домой пораньше, чтобы мы проводили свободное время вместе… Я стала такой, какой ты хотел видеть меня десять лет назад.

– Что с нами делает время! Тогда мне казалось, что ты слишком требовательна. Хотелось свободы. Наверно, я ещё не умел любить по-настоящему. Моя вторая жена готова жить и без меня ради собственного комфорта. Сейчас мне хочется, чтобы она просила меня, как ты, возвращаться домой пораньше, гулять с ней в парке, ходить в театры, но ей интересны только деньги… Так жизнь дала мне понять, как сильно я заблуждался… Дорого бы я заплатил, чтобы вернуться в прошлое и вернуть тебя.

– В прошлое нельзя вернуться, потому что в него не нужно возвращаться.

– Значит, ты не смогла бы влюбиться в меня снова?!

– Мне пора…

Они попрощались и в очередной раз исчезли из жизни друг друга.

Через полгода Светлана снова оказалась в тех краях, но уже по работе.

Припарковав машину, она направилась к офисному зданию на деловую встречу, ещё не зная, что та оборвётся внезапно – одновременно с дыханием её жизни – в соответствии с решением Судий о перемещении души Светланы на Небо путём тромбоэмболии. Шансы изменить судьбу, чтобы остаться на Земле, не всегда предоставляются людям в неограниченном количестве, иногда даже кажется несправедливым, что, например, никчёмный пьяница доживает до старости, а восхитительная бизнес-леди отзывается досрочно.

Проходя мимо винного магазина, у которого толпились не вполне трезвые люди, Светлана заметила на себе пристальный взгляд нелицеприятного мужчины.

– Привет, – произнёс Артём, подходя к ней, шатаясь.

– Не ожидала увидеть тебя… здесь. Что случилось?

– Мой кенор сдох, – пробормотал он.

– Что? – переспросила Светлана, не расслышав.

– Последний друг… Он ждал, когда я вернусь с работы… Чирикал мне что-то на своём языке… И… сдох – не вынес жизни в нашей проклятой семье! Зато теперь он является мне по ночам – призраком… Ты веришь в призраков?

– Твоя канарейка умерла?

Артём кивнул и шепнул Светлане на ухо:

– Беги от денег прочь. Я потрачу их все, чтобы они не испортили моих детей и не достались жене!

– Что ты такое говоришь?! – воскликнула Светлана, отшатнувшись от него в ужасе и подумав: как же хорошо, что их пути разошлись!

– Да, наши пути разошлись, – будто читая её мысли, произнёс Артём. – И в прошлое невозможно вернуться, потому что в него не нужно возвращаться… Но, кто знает, если бы ты не ушла от меня тогда, возможно, сейчас на моём месте оказалась бы ты…

21 сентября 1995

9. A canary

Svetlana hadn’t been there for ten years, but she went to her old friend’s party with a light heart and absolute peace of mind. It was only out of simple female curiosity that she wanted to have a look at Artyom, what if he still lived there and was at home.

He worked for a commercial company then. At first, everything was great, they had clothes and food exclusively from luxury supermarkets, the most prestigious car, and not a dacha, but a palace. However, soon a bottomless void appeared in Svetlana’s soul, and she felt lonely. She loved her husband, who used to leave early in the morning and return at night, because of meetings, negotiations, friends, partners, clients and business trips, and she missed his attention, care and, probably, love. Repeatedly and in vain, Svetlana asked to devote more time to her.

«You don’t understand anything, money rules the world!» Artyom used to say, and nothing changed.

One day Svetlana left him for nowhere, but quickly enough she got a good job, began to earn decent money and to live no worse than before. She stopped being sad, soon got married again and gave birth to charming twins. However, at some point, she caught herself thinking that she no longer cared what time her second husband came home, whether he devoted free time to her or not. Negotiations? Okay. Business trip? Okay as well.

They had money, that really managed everything.

«Just think about it! I became an ideal woman for Artyom,» Svetlana came to the conclusion, passing by his doorway, and noticed light in the familiar window…

Artyom opened the door.

«Wow! What way?!» he said in surprise. «I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. Come in!»

Svetlana entered the room and looked around appraising. Everything was the same: luxury brand furniture, paintings by cool artists… Although… in a cage on the table by the window she noticed a small bird.

«I bought the canary not to feel lonely,» Artyom admitted.

«Aren’t you married?»

«Can’t married people feel lonely? My wife with kids enjoy the Canary Islands every summer. And how are you? I hope your new husband spends more time with you than I did.»

«No, imagine. I don’t need that anymore. I don’t ask him to come home early so that we spend our free time together… I became what you wanted me to be ten years ago.»

«What time makes of us! Back then, I thought you were too demanding. I wanted freedom. I suppose I didn’t know to love true yet. My second wife is ready to live without me for her own comfort. Now I wish she asked me, like you, to come home early, to walk with her in the park and go to the theater, but money is the only thing she is interested in… So life made me understand how much I had been mistaken… I would pay much to return to the past and bring you back.»

«One can’t return to the past because one doesn’t have to return.»

«So, you couldn’t fall in love with me again, could you?!»

«I have to go.»

They said goodbye and disappeared from each other’s lives again.

***

Six months later Svetlana found herself in those places once more, already for business.

Having parked the car, she went straight to the office building for a business meeting, not knowing yet that it would end suddenly and simultaneously with the breath of her life, according to the decision of the Judges to transfer Svetlana’s soul in Heaven by thromboembolism. Chances to change destiny in order to remain on Earth are not always given to people in unlimited quantities, sometimes it even seems unfair that, for example, a worthless drunkard lives to a ripe old age, while an admirable business woman is recalled prematurely.

Passing by a liquor store, crowded with not quite sober people, Svetlana noticed the gaze of an unattractive man.

«Hello,» said Artyom, approaching her staggeringly.

«I didn’t expect to see you… here! What’s happened?»

«My canary’s damn dead,» he muttered.

«Who is dead?» Svetlana asked to clarify the unheard.

«My last friend… He used to wait for my returns home from work… He tweeted something in his own language… And… he died, unable to live in our damn family! Now my friend visits me at night. As a ghost… Do you believe in ghosts?»

«Do you mean your canary?» Svetlana asked again, and Artyom nodded.

«Run away from money!» he whispered in her ear. «I’m going to spend all I have not to spoil my children!»

«What are you talking about?!» Svetlana exclaimed, recoiling from him in horror and thinking, «What a blessing our paths diverged!»

«Yes, our paths diverged,» said Artyom as if reading her thoughts. «One can’t return to the past because one doesn’t have to return… However, who knows, if you hadn’t left me then, perhaps it would have been you walking in my shoes now…»

September 21, 1995